Hold your horses! No one just ploughs in unannounced or uninvited! There is an etiquette to entering and while it may seem like being overly polite, awkward, or unnecessary it is essential in sacred lovemaking and owning your innate power as a Divinely Empowered Woman (and Man!).
Yoni, Yoni Everywhere!
If you aren’t aware the ‘yoni’ / the entire female sexual reproductive space has been and is revered in many cultures and practices. Especially in Tantra. Known as the Universal Womb, the divine passage for body and soul, Source and place of enlightenment, the yoni is the sacred symbol of the Divine Feminine. From festivals of creativity, fertility and sexuality, within temples, and on rock formations, to food, flowers, tree trunks and art through the ages, there are ‘symbols’ of yoni all around us.
Why is Permission Important?
“To understand the vagina properly is to realize that it is not only coextensive with the female brain, but is also, essential, part of the female soul. Female sexual pleasure serves as a medium of female self-knowledge, female creativity and courage; female focus and initiative; female bliss and transcendence; and as medium of a sensibility that feels very much like freedom.’’ Naomi Wolf – Vagina
The multifaceted yoni that Wolf refers to as the ‘vagina’ has been and still is taken for granted, misused, mistreated, and misunderstood. As a woman you may be aware that you have lost conscious connection with your yoni and thus your previous or current relationship/s aren’t as sacred as you deeply desire them to be. This is partly a result of the collective unconsciousness of humanity lingering within you; the feminine wounding passed from generation to generation for centuries. Which has resulted in a great sadness hidden inside you from the lack of knowledge and wisdom shared to truly know, feel and sense the power that is within every female. To answer why ‘permission’ and the honouring of the yoni is so important, it is because it is that which is most sacred – the gateway to the most conscious places. (Your yoni also happens to connect not only with your sexuality and creativity in every way but also your giving and receiving of power in all relationships with others and your connection to giving and receiving money.). Check in and see if all these areas of life are flowing or not.
The Damage of Uninvited Entry
If a woman is entered against her will it is a very serious matter. However, what I am wanting to share with you here is not about forced entry but what may happen more frequently in your life, perhaps even on a regular basis, that you are unaware of and unconscious to the ramifications. That is, if a man enters you without a loving connection, without honour and respect – simply putting his penis / lingam inside you for the pleasure and gratification it gives him, this is far from sacred.
From violence to animal aggression, lust and ownership, to acquisition conquer and even ignorance – every time you may have experienced this type of ‘sex’ it is recorded in your yoni, your emotional body, your mind and your soul.
Disrespectful treatment of your yoni can further disconnect and detach you from your feminine awareness, intuition, sensitivity and sensuality as a woman. Your true nature may feel like it slips away into the shadows taking with it trust, safety and even vulnerability, replacing it with a numb feeling you can’t explain.
Physically the yoni itself can also become desensitised to true, loving, sacred intimacy. Resulting in less physical pleasure, little feeling and great challenge to even connect the yoni, heart mind circuitry that – when functioning optimally – allows you to embrace being the Divinely Empowered Woman and soul you are here to be. (To delve deeper into this you can sign up to the free four part video series; The Divinely Empowered Woman, top of the StellaMuse home page.)
Sacred Relationships Take Two: The Roles of Women & Men
The Feminine Masculine Dance of Consciousness is how sacred love making takes place. This requires both partners to step up individually before coming together for unity (pardon the pun!);
The feminine Shakti / woman’s role is to heal, connect and awaken to honouring her sacred nature; physically with the yoni, emotionally coming to a place of peace in her heart, and mentally coming to a place of consciousness and connection with soul and Spirit. This takes time, patience, self-reflection and awareness built on a strong foundation of self-belief and self-esteem. Often professional guidance of a trusted practitioner can also assist greatly.
The masculine Shiva / man’s role is to create and hold a safe space of trust, honour, support, appreciation and worship. In his Divine state the man embodies presence, he is the rock; unwavering in strength of holding, seeing, witnessing and cherishing the eternally changing ocean that is Shakti. This extends into every area of the relationship. I’m sure you can relate, that when when you feel seen, held and heard as a woman in your day to day life you are more open to surrendering and receiving your man when you merge intimately.
Together the creation of holding, seeing and hearing and opening to each other supports to solidify the trust within the sacred relationship.
Yes, there may be a sense of vulnerability and a need for humility but in a loving union this is part of coming from heart, not ego personality and the lower desire nature or ‘sex nature’. It is essential for you as a couple to evolve also as souls on your inner journey as much as your outer journey together.
Asking is A Practice
Asking before entering the sacred temple that is the beloved yoni is a practice to commit to. Yes, you read right, the man should be seeking permission to enter the ‘vagina’. This may still seem unnecessary, weird, ludicrous for the men, and even ladies perhaps you’re thinking, really? Why? How strange?
Sit with your judgment and assumptions here for a moment. Is that a social conditioning that’s influenced your thoughts? Do you feel awkward asking for something, or anything for that matter? Now pause a moment; think and feel into what you would really want from your most intimate relationship with your beloved or lover? How would you love to be seen, held, heard, connected with? How can you initiate the invitation next time or discuss it tonight?
Exactly, How Does One Ask Permission to Enter?
So let’s start by dropping the judgment barrier by highlighting that asking permission does not have to be done any certain way. You can make it playful and light, sexy and sensual, or honouring and revering and much much more.
Yes, the man can literally ask in his own words or the words that his beloved woman would like to be asked;
“May I enter your sacred Yoni?”
“May I, my Goddess/Lover?”
“Do I have permission to enter your Divine [fill in the blank with word of choice]…”
Or the man may simply ask the lady what are the words she would like to hear to help her relax, soften and surrender to welcoming the man.
You get the idea.
Otherwise, Dear Man: you can use the eyes, look deep into your woman’s eyes, connect with her soul, feel her heart racing, read her body quivers and hunger of her yoni and ensure you pause for an affirmative response before you enter her, slowly. Enjoy the connection in every way as you merge.
This practice of permission is in reverence to the sacred space that is about to be entered for your continued love making. Reverence of where you have come from and where the yoni can take you in states of bliss.
From Sex to Sacred
As you may have realised we aren’t talking ‘sex’ here, we’re talking ‘sacred’; the making of Love and the being of Love, mutual reverence, ritual connection, body worshipping, heart opening, soul penetrating, deep, merging of two into one to reach Oneness. It is this art of literally making Love to become one with Love/The Universe/The Divine that requires ritual. Asking permission is key for this to evolve.
If you are seeking a man’s take tune into Leonard Cohen song ‘Light as the Breeze’
She stands before you naked
you can see it, you can taste it,
and she comes to you light as the breeze.
Now you can drink it or you can nurse it,
it don’t matter how you worship
as long as you’re
down on your knees.
So I knelt there at the delta,
at the alpha and the omega,
at the cradle of the river and the seas.
And like a blessing come from heaven
for something like a second
I was healed and my heart
was at ease.
May you explore the possibilities and find joy in the journey of merging as one to unify the harmonious divinity that is feminine masculine in all its glory.
Just don’t forget ladies, your yoni is officially invite only!
With Love, Elise / S*M
P.s. This Valentine’s if you are seeking an opportunity to gift yourself or beloved something from the heart, a unique personalised experience, tailored to you; to enrich and deepen the intimacy and connection of your relationship with self and/or as a couple.
Choose something sacred, pleasurable, juicy and Divine with the gift of Tantra.