Knowing you will descend into the darkness of the Underworld to meet the Dark Goddess Mother, at some and likely many points in your life, means you must learn how to Navigate the Dark Night of the Soul. So I’m here to guide you. Are you ready to come journey with me…
There is a longing for a sense of home in your body. Close your eyes a moment, can you feel it? There is a longing for the feminine. This is the time to acknowledge that you do not need to be plucked from obscurity and made a star. It is you who must pick yourself up, heal, clear and open yourself to become the shining light you are here to be. For your inner flame has dulled from starvation of not being fed Spirit and Soul food. Your old ways of ‘doing’ more don’t work, everything seems hidden in darkness or just out of reach and you no longer know who you are.
In this phase of feeling ‘off’ and out of sync from deep within your very core, your highest self is talking to you. You are being given signs to listen and act upon. Ignoring this may lead to sickness in any form; an unshakable flu, stomach and digestion issues, breast lumps, abnormal periods, mental or physical exhaustion or something more dramatic if you need a greater wake up call. This may also appear in your life as a transition, a physical death of a beloved or the ‘death’ ending of someone or something you are attached to. This breakaway causes a spiritual ‘breakdown’ which needs to take place for an awakening, a breakthrough, to occur. This is the darkness that engulfs you to ensure you sense your spiritual loss deep within your very bones, pushing and pulling you into the whirlwind of change.
This takes you now to the place of initiation – the journey to the underworld of your very core.
When you feel an overwhelming sense of unshakable sadness, depression or deep wrenching inside that leaves you feeling shattered, ‘not enough’ or ‘there must be more’, there is indeed more than meets the eye. This energetic shift, this emotional stirring this seemingly intangible turmoil that may well have taken you by surprise is your opportunity for transformation. The Dark Mother Goddess is calling for you to travel within and meet with her.
This is the realm of the ‘sixth veil’ as I explore in the 10 VEILS book, where your inner transformation truly begins – are you listening to the call? From here you will be invited to sit with this, confront what shadows, darkness and pain present themselves in all their guises and commit to transform them and alchemise them. Then surrender completely to these shadows that make up the Dark Mother Goddess. You must self-destruct parts of yourself that you have grown to believe are you, but in truth are fabrications of you. Like masks you have outworn, roles you have played, archetypes you have embodied. It is time to journey inward to recognise these amid your confusions, rage, despair, frustration, grief and loneliness. You must muster the courage to be naked and vulnerable to be successfully initiated, transformed and liberated.
I share this with you as your fellow traveller, one who has stood naked before the Dark Mother Goddess at many a turn of the wheel. I have knelt at her feet and wept and I have come to face the demons her eyes show me, confronting them, destroying them and releasing the power they have over me, allowing myself to be forever changed. In shedding of my clothes, my fears and my illusions of ‘self’, I released what no longer served my Path as I moved on. I was each time born anew; wiser, stronger, more courageous, empowered by love, awakened and harmonised with what is above and below, within and without me. Each time I too was liberated. I am no different from you, in fact I am you. I am the version of you your heart and soul long to be, the light in the darkness you see in the distance which comforts you as you hear this siren calling you, beckoning you to come journey deep, deep down below to the belly of the Dark Goddess Mother Underworld. I remind you there is another side, there is the polarity of light and dark. You will succeed in mastering this grand undertaking if you let go of all that has brought you to this point, if you choose to strip yourself bare before her as you enter her dark kingdom. Go forth dear one, walk to the beat of your Soul’s drum. Feel the fiery flame of love burning in your heart it will guide you home.
Create time and space to sit in this place inside yourself, what must you release, shed, let die? What personality traits, habits, addictions, default patterns, thought processes, actions have you clung to, but are not you and not serving? These are to be faced now. With gentle patience and loving kindness, you are to begin the destruction of these demons that the Dark Goddess Mother will show you. When you are ready, carry on;
You now stand before the doorway to the Mysterious Feminine. A doorway that leads you deeper into dark depths you may have never travelled before in this lifetime. But indeed, you have in lifetimes before.
After hearing the call you prepare yourself to meet the Dark Mother Goddess. You require a conscious, willing surrender to turn the pain you feel inside, that the Dark Mother Goddess will show and represents, into your new life. As you enter the darkness and descend down the hundred stairs your body temperature drops, you feel a coolness in the air, like autumn has set in and Winter will come soon enough.
Underworld law says to enter you must disrobe. The casting off of your old clothes is symbolic. It symbolises your casting off your old body (physical, emotional, mental, spiritual), outdated beliefs in illusions and glamours of the external world you live in, to allow for the rebirth once new clothes are put on. Disrobing is the symbolism of ‘the stellar goddess’ Ishtar/Inanna as she submits herself. Her unveiling is her way of removing the old illusions and false identities that served in the Upper World but do not here in the Underworld – this is the initiation process. Your clothes like all externalisations are a second skin of projected self and security that serve no purpose below. Here standing naked before eyes that see all, before the Dark Mother Goddess you, the initiate, must strip bare, unveiling yourself to the Goddess. This is the original striptease – the removing of the 7 layers of garments each representing a main chakra. Exposed, undefended, open to having your soul searched by the eye of darkness / death, the eye of the true self. It is upon disrobing that your authentic inner beauty can be revealed and seen in all its glory, for you have nothing nor nowhere to hide.
Though this underworld is dark and cool you must now strip of your garments, a gesture of letting go of what is no longer necessary from your life above. You can do this by simply taking your hair out, removing a favourite piece of clothing or jewellery if that feels right for you, or you can fully embrace the symbolism of complete disrobing and remove all external covering and adornments. Honour your truth in a safe and sacred space such as you bedroom.
As you drop your clothes to the earthy floor at your feet you raise your head to see her. Your eyes meet hers. There is a chilling familiarity to her. She is all seeing, all knowing, all powerful, dynamic and mighty. The knowing you have betrayed her, arises within you along with the knowing that this is so, as she is the other half of your very self that you have avoided, and pretended never existed. Your shadow self, the dark corners of your life you wanted to forget and never see again. The pain, the guilt, the hurt, the sadness, the shame, the abandonment, the abuse and neglect, the judgments and every other dark part of yourself you know is there. These parts of yourself, you moved down, down, down into the darkness. And now here she stands in all her magnificent glory to show you that which you have wished would never be seen again. She requires reverence and respect, she demands recognition as an equal power – just as valid and important as that which you have shown and given to above; known as the Great Above – the masculine world. All that you have shown to your pursuit of success, money, power, objects, relationships, recognition and approval. Down here in the Underworld you are brought to realise there is no half greater than the other. That above and below, within and without, masculine and feminine are equal in their strengths and equal in their differences.
As the Feminine Shakti force that you are (or have part of within you), you are made of female essence which is not constant. Shakti is ever changing and this is a reflection of the ‘bipolar goddess’ – of life and transformation you are experiencing in this moment; the you to relate to from above, and the you that stands before you now in the form of the Dark Mother Goddess. A life’s work of all you have tried to hide in the depths of dark earth, the depths of your being.
You may feel caught in the separation part of the cycle at this stage and be reacting, falling to depression and guilt, or clinging to a part of the Above story you tell yourself even though it doesn’t feel true or entirely in alignment with your integrity. This imbalance arises as you do not recognise the bi-polar of above and below; as seen in Mother Kali and Kali-Durga; of the life giving and life taking goddesses. You may have confused the bi-polarity by over indulging in the above world; the erotic and active-assertive side of the goddess, or you may be on the opposite side of this pole living more conscious and comfortable with your erotic and assertive power. Though the time has now come for you to be here ‘descended’ below, to stand naked before the Dark Mother Goddess. To temporarily go within and introvert yourself.
Barefoot on the Underworld ground you may especially have felt this calling now for it may well be your moon time, during pregnancy or the impending arrival of a child, or of a creative pursuit, the recent end or death of a loved one, a relationship or core pillar of stability which has broken and shattered in your life. No matter your imbalance, of where you recognise yourself to be in this bipolar cycle, you stand here now before the Dark Mother Goddess. Your darkest hidden versions of self to achieve and realise your full potential wholeness. You must experience this darkness in some form no matter what. The oscillating, moving, ever changing is the rhythm of the feminine self. The dance of Shakti as we call it in Tantra. It is not constant nor always predictable, with both phases needing to be seen, honoured and revered. You are awakening to the understanding that while you may spend much time above in what seems like light, to balance this time here in the dark the solitude has come.
You have journeyed here to the Underworld knowing it is a time of going within. You are feeling yourself going deeper and deeper within your very essence, your heart’s core, your memories and moments of life captured like photographs and movies to confront your inner Dark Mother Goddess.
Use this time now as an exploration of the importance of your life-enhancing circle of evolution, like a wheel of night and day or of the seasons. In order for there to be rebirth there must first be death. You must surrender these dark parts, allowing them to be discarded so you can be reborn.
You have gone through this evolutionary wheel numerous times throughout your life, making sacrifices at each cycle. Your soul feels it has been here many lifetimes before and likely times still to come. You know that the above is sacrificed to venture below so the soul connection can take place. So you will be reborn, awakened as you find your inner courage and strength. This courage and strength comes from seeing the dark or ‘negative’ qualities within yourself, confronting them and deconstructing them through surrender and Divine wisdom.
This time and every other visit you make to the Underworld you will approach the piercing eyes of the Dark Mother Goddess differently. Sometimes you will face her head on, courageously and with the will of a warrior, – other times with humble, submission. This will change depending on where you are along the Path and what you have in the Underworld to learn. Sometimes call for the lesson of submission, sacrifice and humility, other times call for courage of heart and mustering inner fortitude, to confront what challenges have arisen which seem unconquerable from where you stand today.
Go within and embrace this visualisation: Look deep into the all seeing eyes of the Dark Mother Goddess now as she stands unwavering before you. Let her eyes be portals for you to scry and see into your deepest self, let her show you what you need to be shown most now. Withhold judgment and allow the visions, symbols, signs, songs, and sadness, or whatever it is that need come forth to you be seen. Let it be seen. Watch and listen. As the initiate you now begin to notice your very being, your entire self in a deep meditation, you are imagining, sensing, seeing, and feeling all that the Dark Mother Goddess is showing you – let her and the experience take you where you need go…
You may sense you are losing everything. Your relationships, career, passion, direction, health, wealth, faith, motivation and enthusiasm, clarity, or not feeling anything at all may be what arises. This primal suffering is the catalyst to lead to your sacrifice of activity. What is the Dark Mother Goddess telling you to sacrifice? What is she asking you to confront and shed? What are you doing or have you done that is needing to be felt deeply now and then let go of?
Flow with this. Let the journey she takes you on lead you as far and wide, as deep and down below as you can and need to go. You may feel as though you are barely surviving this internal pain. This Dark Night of the Soul as it is also called can only be endured as long as an act of Divine grace arrives with new wisdom for you, and it will – be that as you navigate this all alone, with the help of that which is greater than you and you believe in or, with the guidance of a trusted practitioner. Eventually, you will be ready to raise yourself higher to what you choose to feel, embrace, be. Then you will welcome a new rebirth and a veil lifted, to reveal another layer of illumination to you.
Take this opportunity, this visit you have accepted to raise your consciousness and enhance your life’s creativity. Welcome this ‘darkness’ of the soul in exchange for the balance and harmony that longs to come forth in your life.
The Dark Mother Goddess fills you with feminine, yin strength, she allows you your own sense of wholeness, unto yourself as a separate individual – not dependent on another; man or child. She allows you to stand in your own power of Yes and No. Strong standing, able to negate, and firmly grounded. You can destroy or create, and you know this powerful source is radiating from within. You no longer seek validation; not from outside or by making a friendship, experience, circumstance or space friendly to gain support or appease for reward. This means you aren’t seeking outside of yourself to gain validation or to please.
From this place of inner strength, you feel greater connection to your true self. You are able to receive another into your own sovereign vessel, your body temple, when and if you choose.
In this descent you are now witness of what has been repressed in the Divine Feminine. You are able to look beyond the fantasy, glamours and illusion of what the masculine side has been seen to be. You see behind the curtain, the main veil, and see the illusion and this way of living as a circus of ignorance and distraction, of “human fragility”, not your truth.
This descent allows you to be broken wide open, so you now call for the new to be alchemised. You have broken away and broken down to break through reborn.
You now know you need to go back into yourself. Back into the Underworld to know your true self. To let go of inadequacies, disconnection of body, mind and soul, and find the resilient feminine within, the balanced yin-yang. It is in your coming back to the tomb and womb of the underworld, in shedding your identification and defences against the soul, going to what feels like devastating lengths of a primal and emotional level to learn that once you arrive, how will you survive in a different way? How to live in the world but not of the world? How to walk the path on the edge of here and there, the created masculine world of consumerism, form and status with the inner feminine world of harmonised truth, beauty and love. How do these combine for you to bring you closer to your Soul and Spirit in Light?
This may take a long time for you or it may come with ease. Each time you descend it may be entirely different. By seeing, sensing, feeling and knowing your primal being from a new perspective you have overcome the great round battle, the warfare inside of yourself and inside everyone. The physical body feels lethargic and without any energy as the war inside rages on until the death of the old personality ego patterns and false identifications, make new clearing for the birth of your inner truth, your authentic self to lead the way.
Having confronted the Dark Mother Goddess, your inner ego self, you are ignited now to go forth. To do creative work in whichever form this takes for you. Perhaps dance and improvisations of body that are not usual to your way of being will assist the shift. You may need nurturing, touch and permission in connection with the ego as its beautiful illusion dies away, rots and submits to the destructive-transformation taking place.
Rebirthed, you have a re-illuminated consciousness; you have shed your old identities, reduced to primal ways, and been reborn. YOU have to come here, down to the belly of the Underworld to learn to abandon old patterns, feelings and emotions, and turn to true nourishing and self-validating sources. You can now see the wasted focus you one place on the wrong source. On the false promise that ‘things’ of physical and form would bring you satisfaction, wholeness, fulfilment, love and consciousness. Now you know they never can.
Relationships with beloveds can hurt the most at this time. For each knows the other and is able to open the wounds. To develop, you find yourself choosing intimate relationships which help you face your most complex and painful parts.
Equality is essential for intimacy to flourish – to speak freely and not avoid or ignore, in fear of rising the Dark Mother Goddess in the other. Speak with compassionate loving kindness and truth. Just as the god Shiva stands strong for goddess Shakti to dance around him in creative expression. Not only a mirroring voice but a voice of equal dignity. The feminine requires this adequate meeting. Standing strong and ready, open to receive passionate energy – feeling this respect for the energy, the woman can embody her higher self and the man can embrace and protect this, thus honouring his highest purpose.
Only after the full brunt of the dark Underworld is felt, met and claimed, can the passionate, harmonised meeting of women and men as equals take place.
You are therefore required to stand your own. Hold your own value while being loving to the masculine as well as to your own depths of feminine essence. Be willing to suffer humanly, so the full spectrum of the Dark Mother Goddess and yourself will gain your inner harmony.
This, however, is only one facet of the essential journey of the Heroic Goddess, one portion of the path you must choose to courageously undertake if you are to commit to awakening the Sacred Union Within. As the Soul you are here to ‘be’, living from your truth, from your unique essence…
- Take the time to read this over again, sit with and contemplate each part of the descent. Guiding myself through the process with no haste.
- Am I truly ready, open and willing now to set the time aside to do this work? When is this Sacred time taking place?
- Have I been here before? Do I find this familiar, and this time am I prepared to release more? What is it this time I am ready to confront and shed when I descend to meet the Dark Mother Goddess?
Dark Nights of the Soul are continual at intervals on the Path. As you release more and more of what you are not, you will walk in closer alignment with that which you are. These times of darkness can be the most painful and excruciating, confusing and lonely. They are less often psychological crisis and more often spiritual crisis, which is inevitable if you commit to this way of life. It is important you have someone to reach out to if you feel stuck in the darkness without the hint of any light. Reach out to a loved one or a trusted professional at this time to assist you in slowly coming back to the light with gentleness, love and wisdom if you are not yet strong enough to manage entirely alone. In time, the way of a Light Bearer requires you do this work entirely alone – that may already be you or, that may not be your calling in this life. It does not matter where along the spectrum you stand presently. What is important is your wellbeing. Take care of and Honour this.
~ This is an exploration of one of the veils from the ’10 VEILS’ book available now to download as a free gift from me to you from stellamuse. I trust you enjoy your copy today. ~
And as always, I am here to hold the Light and lovingly guide your way inwards and onwards if it calls.
Joyous Journeying, Sacred Soul.
With Love, Elise / S*M