Cultivating Love with Self, Lover & Soul

Do you feel loved? Deeply held, seen, heard, cherished, filled and fulfilled by love; with yourself? In a relationship with a beloved? By friendships, family, a mentor, teacher or guide? How about with your own soul? Spirit / God / Source / Divinity?

Most people I work with are longing. They are hungry and wanting to fill a void. They feel, sense and know something integral to be missing.

For some it is a longing for union within themselves….

For some, it is a union with a romantic partner. A husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, lover, beloved…

For some, it is union with something greater. Something they can’t explain easily in words. It is a longing to feel, connect and even merge with all of Love, with life itself, with consciousness. Almost like a home-sickness for a far off place they have touched before but can’t seem to find here in this world…

That longing for complete beauty in the perfect harmony of oneness. Called by different schools of thought and philosophies as reaching Nirvana, enlightenment, awakening etc.

I’m sure you can see yourself somewhere here. Where if you look deeper, tune in and ask, you too are wanting a version of this. Perhaps you don’t even need to pause and ask, you already know the longing, hunger or void for Love.

We can look in all the wrong places for it;

Physically; sexually, food, gambling, shopping, drugs, alcohol…any habits or addictions which don’t serve. 

Emotionally; we can dwell in our pain or suppress it….

Mentally; we can use the mind to shut it out, ignore it, convince ourselves we’re fine and life goes on. Or it will change when X happens…

You can live like this. Many people do. Some end up with broken hearts that more Dr’s are acknowledging can indeed kill. 

Love is not something we’re lucky to experience or could do with now and again. Love, as I have mentioned before, is like oxygen. Some of us may need it more than others, but we all need it to live and to thrive, to grow and evolve, to make our way closer to the divinity of life / consciousness and all that we are here to experience.

Today I want to help you cultivate, experience, explore and deepen your;

  • Love with Self,
  • Love with a current or future lover or beloved,
  • Love with All That is – from Soul to Spirit.

The modern world ‘love’ is not what we innately know Love to be. We don’t have the language or often the knowledge even to explain the subtle connections we have and share between us.

THE HISTORY OF LOVE from the GREEKS (that was also spoken of prior by Christ);

EROS (eh-ross) –  Where erotic is from (as people associate it now with passion and sex), though it doesn’t mean that. It is the Love that makes you at ONE with something. Absorb or merge with something.

Consuming = lower way.

Higher way = at-one-ment with.

We strive for this within our self and with a beloved.

PHILIA (fi-lee-ah) – This is reciprocal love or friendship love. Philosphia = the friendship love of wisdom. Love that allows you to take from and contribute to / give back. Like in dialogue or debate, contributing to each other’s understating of the world. This is family & friends. You can think of the infinity sign where it is ever flowing back and forth between the two.

AGAPE (ah-gah-peh) – Not just giving without receiving, but also unconditional. It is the type of love that a mother has for a child. The true Christ spoke of this as the Love of the Cosmos. It is love that is given, that transforms you into something else. Something more. We connect to this Divine Love, then we love others in this way, and we then love all and then we are All. This is Divine Love, it is what we may have with something greater than us.

STORGE (stor-yee) – The affection / love we have between parents and children, or for family. Often blended with Philia.

The continuum where everything is lifted or raised up and made more – it’s supposed to be made angelic where we are agents of Divinity. But this meaning has been lost because we “love cake” in this modern world or we “love those shoes” or “my car” etc. Not quite the same you may agree!

Another interesting addition here is;

Metanoia’ = A spiritual change of heart where you now have an expansive connection to all things. Deep connectedness ‘agapically’.  Like a sense of opening up or merging with the higher principle / Divine / Cosmos.


SELF LOVE and it includes;

  • Boundaries & Discernment – (keeping in mind that thoughts govern energy patterns)
  • Honoring your “Yes” & “No”
  • Rituals & Sacred Alone time

What do you do and how do you create LOVE?

Do you have sacred time that is just for you? How does it look?

What would you like to add to this?

“Do not feel lonely the entire universe is inside of you.” ~ Rumi


Be OK with yourself and who you are (while wanting to improve things): Love and accept that part of you that is Divine; your Soul.

This is the seed of self-worth. A seed learning to become something transcendent, that desires love, contact, connection, experience, knowledge, to expand or perfect itself. A seed that is a spark of divinity wanting to be loved and understood.

A seed thought to meditate or sit with: “I am inherently divine.”

…what else comes to you here when you do sit with this seed thought?

Modern Love for Lovers;


Unions are for growth, development & healing

  • The Dance of Giving – Masculine (bestow), Receiving – Feminine (consume), Sharing – ways of expressing love. Expressing yourself through love brings connection, unity, oneness.
  • BEing & DOing modes (What are your VALUES?)
  • Quality time, INTIMACY (in to me I see and in to you I see)  &, Space
  • To FEEL love = Be seen (truly seen for ALL of who you are not just your body or talents or what you do for someone), heard, held, cherished. 
  • Communication, honesty, seeking professional guidance & help.
  • Forgiveness = fore – giving, or giving before. Human striving for Divinity/Perfection.
  • Fear of losing yourself in relationship 
  • You + Me + We (the relationship): creating harmony in the sacred love triangle.

You should become MORE through your relationship. Where you end up in a higher place. Contribute, amplify & complement each other.

“What is love for?” Connection? Yes, but overall to create Unity. Two people creating a balance of yin and yang, feminine and masculine a united whole. Higher forms of love, you merge more and more to a point of transcendence.

The sharing, the communication. Even sex was originally known as “knowing one another” thus becoming at-one with a partner. Which you can’t do just by consuming the body. 

Sacred Intimacy is;

Body (physically),

Heart (emotionally),

Mind (mentally)

Beyond (soul + cosmically).  

You are not just a body. This ends (bodies die) though more so in the moment, a climax is over (thus the French call an orgasm Petit Mort or little death). BUT you can consciously connect and know each other more and more over time which can be more fulfilling than any physical experience. A sense of connectedness to the real, the true, the beautiful. A connection of essence and consciousness. If you can MERGE with your beloved, a body, heart, mind climax it’s like a transcendent awakening…this is all theoretically possible.

Questions to Muse on:

What are you getting from your relationship?

What do you want from a current or future relationship?

Good relationship = work on the lower issues / problems. And, look at the higher, spending time in each other’s consciousness.



  • Connection of YOU to the larger Cosmos
  • There are higher kingdoms of nature you can learn to connect with.
  • The universe / cosmos is a living thing.
  • Consciousness on an unimaginable scale, we can understand there is a spiritual trend for those of us waking up to it. Some of us are learning from trial and error and others seek higher things.
  • You will feel the most transcendent, bliss or true joy – what is called ‘Ananda’; that which feels transcendently amazing – when your individual ego / personality merges with all of consciousness.
  • When you transcend your tiny self, you will know all peace, all power, all love. Like Buddha or Christ.
  • Love is what evolves the Universe. If you can connect to it you will have meaning and feel connection.

This is all a process of awakening and becoming, connected to the larger whole even when we are learning and gaining knowledge and describing details.

Much of what I have shared is for you to Muse on, sit with, meditate on, question and feel into.

If you are seeking further Sacred Guidance upon your path 1:1 or with your beloved in couples sessions please contact me HERE to request a Free Discovery Call to see how best I can serve you.

In Light & Love of the Soul, Elise | S*M

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