Walk Away to Step Into Courageous Love


I had the pleasure of reconnecting with a StellaTriber whom I had a very deep conversation with a few months back – a conversation that broke open her inner Stella Warrior and helped pull out of her her own inner strength, courage and desire for transformation, from the inside out.




She was in a relationship with someone who wanted it their way, who she felt she had to revolve around in order to ‘make it work’. And so she did. This woman invested her heart and soul, her time and energy into being someone she wasn’t in order to be with someone who didn’t love her for who she truly was.

After some time and processing of our conversation she told me yesterday that she finally came to the realisation she was moulding her life to fit the life of the person she was with – “a lot of bad self confidence and bad self esteem occurred because of it” – and now she had gathered the strength to get out.

My heart over flowed with joy when she shared this. Because I saw my reflection in her eyes.

I’ve been that woman.

I’ve swam that sea of someone else’s life.

I’ve halted my dreams for theirs.

I’ve waited to be the one they put first, the one they chose above all and everyone else.

I’ve changed cultures, languages, countries for someone else.

I’ve stopped living my life to fly across the world to come back and be their by their side when they ‘needed me most’.

I’ve cancelled me to live for a version of them I believed would eventually shine through.

And I too gathered the courage to walk away.

And I didn’t look back.

( *while these experiences were essential to my growth and soul evolution they were, lessons and stepping stones to where I choose to be.)

Because I decided in order to be with the Beloved my body, heart and soul is meant to be with I must first awaken everything that has been locked in side of me. Everything I have suppressed. Everything I have neglected and not listened to. The yearnings, cravings, cryings out and hunger of my soul. I needed to fuel that, feed that, nourish, inspire, enlighten and awake all of that, then and only then would I have healed myself and be ready to welcome the worthy to come to me.



(Artist – Elise Carr / StellaMuse)


LOVE between two people evolves from love of self and from an unwavering belief in self; of who you are, of your true value and worth, of your purpose here on earth and all you have to offer. When you come to the point of questioning WHO AM I? and can answer I AM … you create a new space in your life for YOU to be your authentic Divine self and for your Beloved to come to you. You are showing the Universe you are ready to attract the person who is on your same wavelength, for you are no longer settling for anything less than what you deserve.


This is how I showed up when I was ready for my Beloved to arrive.

This is how I show up every day now with my Beloved, with my Tribe, with the Stella Warrior souls I am honoured to coach and work with, have deep conversations with and hold space for.

When you are ready to create that sacred space within you and awaken your inner warrior to fan your own Divine flame you will have a paradigm shift of love and they will come.


Goddess:God image


Create the space for the Beloved who knows who they are and what they are looking for in a partner. A Beloved who can give and receive LOVE. A Beloved who lives in their truth and is unafraid of their emotions and yours.

You deserve magnificent love, brilliant love, unbridled, real, authentic, truth filled love, and nothing less.




Are you ready StellaTribe?

Have you created this space?

Are you feeding your soul and nourishing your body, heart and soul?

And are you coming from that place of LOVE already?


With Love, Elise / S*M


P.S. I was asked by this Beautiful Stella Soul,


…how long did it take for you to feel normal again?


And this is what I told her;

Normal is a tricky word. I never went back to what I was. My greatest heart break took me 1.5 years to not wake up missing ‘him’ though it wasn’t him essentially that I missed, it was the space I allowed him to take up in my life.

When I filled that space with what my heart was yearning for – I moved to Paris, studied, painted, wrote my novel, got an editor, chose to focus on ME, took up ballet again, nourished my body with fresh foods, exercised daily, retreated and rested when I wanted to, and did what felt right for me etc – then I began a new journey to re-carving and re-awakening my authentic self.

Looking back, that relationship was one of the most intense learning times of my life, I am grateful for that, and I love him and us for that.

Though I also had to forgive him and forgive me to take back my power. To truly let go of the giant sack of pain I was holding onto that no longer served me. (While this relationship ended years ago until early this year I was still energetically holding pain, which through my studies in medical intuition and chakra regression I learned how to excavate my own lower chakra’s / Yoni and release this tremendous block. Now this is part of what I do for clients – offer chakra regression healings and Reiki sessions for other women to be able to excavate their Yoni and release the energy blockages they are unconsciously holding onto.)

I love differently now, in that I don’t give all of ME away, instead I welcome my Beloved into my Universe, my heart, soul and body as he welcomes me into his and the sacred space we create together. And I make sure I keep what my heart, body and soul needs as top priority too. He respects this and encourages it – as I do for him. And that is part of MUTUAL LOVE – the give and take, the cycle of inhale and exhale, the dance of two souls.

As in any relationship there are two bodies, two hearts, two minds, two souls which need love, respect, honour and worshiping.

My heart felt advice for you, as I would tell myself in this position if I was again in your place;

Know that in time all will heal.

Nothing stays the same.

What no longer serves will be cut away / die off to allow what you truly need to grow and come into your life.

REAL LOVE never dies, it may change and evolve but it remains.

He will love you for the rest of his life and beyond but he is not in the place you need a man to be for you right now.

Today, and for the days that follow invest in you; honour, worship and love you.

Ask your heart / yoni, what do I desire, need, want right now? Then give space for an answer to come through. It will speak if you give it a moment.

You are stronger than you realise and more healed already than you know.

You will look back on this in time as a Great Love and a great growing which helped you step into the woman you truly choose to be.

With Love, Elise.



  1. Erin on December 16, 2014 at 8:59 pm

    Thanks for this blogpost. I really identified with this story too although it it bitter sweet knowing that I (or anyone) does! Why? Because you wouldn’t wish that form of learning on anyone! But as you said, it IS learning and I am ever so grateful that he (there were two “he”s for me actually. Urgh. I needed a lot of learning it looks like!) was gifted into my life so that I could move past the MASSIVE blocks that I was bestowed early on in life. What a gift! It’s hard and sad and painful some days but, still, what a gift!

    I like the part where you talk about taking time and investing in yourself and restarting all those things that you loved and which made you who you are. I really feel I am doing this now and have been doing so for the past five years since the first ‘he’ was let go of (the second ‘he’ I think was just part of the journey to show me how much work I still needed to do but how much STRONGER I had become regardless!). It’s a strange thing to miss the part of yourself you gave to another and which, not in that original form anyway, you will probably never back. The version of yourself that you get back is different. It’s like making friends with yourself but an older, wiser, more tempered version of yourself. Which I have to say, is actually also nice. I feel like sometimes I get to say hello to the woman who will be the amazing older woman version of myself! Just like, in choosing the wrong types of guys and by way of that avoiding growing up, I got to make friends with the younger, much crazier, party girl of myself, the one who I hadn’t gotten to indulge when I might have liked to years before. Time is different with this kind of stuff! But anyway, I just wanted to say, it is lovely and heartening to read such a post. Thank you for posting it! Can’t wait for the next one.xx

    • StellaMuse on December 17, 2014 at 10:43 am

      Always a pleasure, Erin. Thank you for sharing your heart with us! The evolution of the soul is an incredible journey – throw in ’emotions’ and ‘love’, ‘heartache’ and ‘pain’, ‘joy’ and ‘growth’ and what a cocktail one has. Making friends with the different versions of yourself is very powerful. We are like diamonds (besides being stunningly gorgeous and strong) we are multifaceted (like the great Goddess herself), learning to awaken each of these ‘versions’ and knowing when to bring them to the surface is empowering. May you continue this exciting awakening and always know your Divine Feminine strength is there in every version of self. With Love, Elise / S*M

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