Ever thought you don’t feel like ‘you’, even just for a moment, a day, a phase? Like a disconnect from your authentic self, from your true power; who you want to be and how you want to make a difference in all you do?
At times disconnection is part of life. The cycle of the human experience. Though it may have you feeling that you have lost a connection to a deep part of you. Or have you wonder if you have ever been able to truly connect to an elusive part of yourself before. These experiences, thoughts and feelings may well be a disconnection from your inner empowerment; your Truth. Something that comes from fully embodying your feminine/being/creativity, in harmony with your masculine/doing/consciousness. Your complete nature, which creates the foundation for you to live from body, heart, mind, soul and Spirit union.
Reawakening your feminine can be a short or long journey depending on where you are along your unique path. But you don’t have to do it alone. This article is here to guide you; to gain inspiration, wisdom, prompt or remind you of how you can escape from the feminine disconnection and reawaken your inner empowerment. It is by shifting to a place of harmony with your feminine and masculine that a ripple effect on your inner and outer world can expand. How you see yourself, how you connect with you partner and loved ones, how you show up in your career and your overall wellbeing can all benefit and blossom as you reawaken this inner empowerment.
In this guide I walk you through an 11 Key process to:
*Deeper Understanding who you are,
*Reawakening the parts of you that long to be activated,
*Empowering that part of you that most desires to be released and shine brighter than ever before.
Think of it as your go to for those reminders when that disconnected feeling creeps up and, me as your BFF to give you the step by step insight when you’re ready to do some more BIG miracle work, (which of course you are)!
Here are 11 Keys to guide you from feminine disconnect to lead you to reawakening your inner empowerment;
This in it self is a process that often needs revisiting along your path to ensure you understand true forgiveness and are forgiving both yourself* and others. (*This does not imply that if you experienced trauma you are at fault – it means that you may still need to forgive yourself for holding onto the pain etc.). This process requires you facing the darkness / wounds, sometimes represented by the inner dark goddess who shows you your ego self that wants more than anything to hold on to the pain that no longer serves. While this is a deeply personal phase of the work you may find writing letters that are never sent, meditation, prayer and speaking with professionals can all assist. From my personal experience and what I now share with clients is also the Guided Chakra Regression which works with what you are holding onto that connects to the essence of your lower chakras. Excavating these traumas or experiences that do not serve you anymore simultaneously guides you through the forgiveness process to gain clarity, more peace and retrieve your personal power.
I also want to share with you that there is an element of acceptance to this process. Once you have acknowledgment of the event/experience, have then worked through the emotions and feelings to achieve forgiveness, there is the final act of acceptance. This allows you to fully let go and move forward along your path with your power with you, not still giving it away to someone or something who/which you may have forgiven but whom/which you are not fully at peace with – as you have yet to accept what is done is done. Sit with this one as it may bring up some ‘joywork’ for you to Muse on and work through.
When you can fully grasp forgiveness, you see how this is a gateway to your power; how you give it away and when you chose to give it away, as well as how and when you receive it. Like power cords connected to your being you can be plugged into other people and experiences which feel like they are ‘sucking the life out of you’, they may well be.
The feminine is the receptacle; physically with the yoni/vagina receiving the lingam/penis in love making but also on an emotional and energetic level. It is in balancing the power of emotions – how you let them take over or not – that you can hold onto and not give your power away to a situation, experience or person. I’m not implying you suppress or bottle up your emotions but instead begin to strengthen your ability to drop into the witness when your emotions are charged. This takes patience, when you want to yell or throw a shoe across the room you acknowledge that is a feeling with emotional attachment, though it is not ‘you’ in your most empowered state. Ask yourself in this situation What would the most empowered version of me do now? Often when it is a dance of power the choice is to:
Remove Yourself – So you can recollect and rebalance your emotions in a safe space in your own time alone.
Stay With It and Work Through It – Like being the strong, calm oak tree in the storm. You feel emotions wash over you and they may shake you but they do not break you into submission, taking you over and having you do or say something you regret soon after.
Deep Breathing – Can also assist either way to calm the emotions, release tension from the body and clear the mind.
Your personal power also connects very strongly to your self belief; your self esteem, authenticity and integrity. A great question to ask yourself if you are in doubt of what to do or how to move forward with something or someone is: “Am I in alignment with my truth if I do/say/act on this?” You have to be able to stand by your choices with integrity and authenticity knowing this is your truth. You have to be able to honour the choices you make, knowing because you would not do them another way given the chance over. They make you feel content, satisfied, empowered even, despite the view and opinions of others.
When you believe in yourself you have a strength within that is like an unwavering flame. It cannot be extinguished, for it is pure. Like the lotus that must first come through the muddy water, so is your journey to authentic self belief. Until you are able to stand strong here, while working through the mud of your inner self esteem, self love cannot blossom. Self belief and self esteem are the foundation for self love.
When we think of love we don’t often connect to the power of what it encompasses when it is pure. It can feel vast and intangible, words can’t describe it at times. Unconditional love is the only love that exists. It is pure, it can be felt for a beloved, a friend, a colleague, a pet. It need not be sexual or, even physical as it transcends the body. It is pure Divine consciousness that connects all and is all. For love is the driving force of the entire Universe. The way you can connect by demonstrating and expressing this in your every day to reawaken more of your feminine is through forgiveness as mentioned above but also;
Loving Kindness – Helping someone in need if you can, being generous in some way, demonstrating thoughtfulness such as a phone call or text to check in and see how someone is or showing you are thinking of them in a way that is suitable to your shared relationship.
Compassion – Having compassion means you can empathise, relate or understand. It is a trait we as humanity are still needing to fully embody at all times. (You do not need to take on someone’s pain or feel sorry for them and/or yourself. Compassion requires a depth of heart that taps into courage; from the French word Coeur which means heart. It is a ‘strength of heart’ to not wallow in the archetype of ‘victim’ or join in on another’s’ pain but instead to hold a sacred space for Love to be felt, given and received.
Non-Judgment For Self and Others – This is as simple as it sounds, do your absolute best to at all times refrain from judging. It may be a challenge to do consistently but you already understand it and you know when you have honoured it the difference it can make. Feel and live into this more. Choose to not judge, choose love.
Little Acts and Grand Demonstrations All Count – The feminine embraces every demonstration of love and you too will feel the shift when you invest more into expressing Love in these ways.
And while it may not seem like Love, practicing Humility goes hand in hand with the above. Remembering no matter where you are along your journey, no matter what you do, or have or don’t have you and I and everyone else are all students constantly growing and evolving. While you are perfect and whole you are also a soul in progress. Remain humble and gracious best you can at all times. It’s an empowered place to be.
Balancing all the hats you wear may have you feeling less empowered by the feminine and more like a hat stand some days. However many hats you may wear in a day, along this path it is so important to see that strengthening the power of your feminine nature requires you to stop and slow down. It is by stopping to slow down that you can create more awareness; of how you currently spend your time and the space your true self is longing for so you can nourish, heal and empower YOU. This space is for you to invest in your relationship with your;
Body – You may start with the body with a hot bath, an organic coconut oil massage or reassessing the foods you are consuming and how you exercise, strengthen and move you body on a regular basis.
Heart – This is checking in how you are feeling, do you need some quiet alone time or a good conversation with a trusted loved one? Are you open or closed, do you need more love in your life? How can you provide this for yourself right here and now in a simple way?
Mind – Are you over stimulated and need to switch off (this includes some down time from email and social media)? Or, are you hungry for knowledge and wisdom? So, you might be exploring what you want to learn more about and sign up to a course, listen to a new podcast, or dive into that dusty pile of books you bought online last year.
Soul – Your essence, your innate nature, this is a connection that takes time to solidify. You can explore this by asking yourself and feeling into; What does my soul need in this moment? What is my highest truth? Keeping in mind, when you slow down, soften and open to receive you are inviting your feminine power to be present, you can hear her speak. Your role is to listen and take action, today.
Connecting to that which is greater than us but what we are made of is part of your self reconnection. It reminds you of the greatness and magnitude of consciousness and existence and lets you know you are part of this grand tapestry. You have purpose and reason to be here beyond what you may realise at the moment. To open to more clarity and guidance you may like to explore prayer, meditation and mindfulness practices.
Relationship with Beloved
If you’re a driven go getter and super motivated non stop doer it may come as a challenge to just ease into your feminine when it comes to time with your beloved. This is another joyful part of the journey to empowering your fine self from within by working on your craft of harmonising your feminine and masculine natures.
I suggest starting with;
Communication – Being seen and heard, is part of the ingredients list for you to be able to feel safe enough to trust and soften into opening up to your beloved. To be your most vulnerable, pure self. This requires being in a partnership with someone who is willing to do the work with you. To set time to talk through what is going on and where you are at, how they can learn to just listen and be a Divine masculine soundboard without needing to fix. And only offering guidance and council of you seek it.
Intimacy – Being held and cherished, the other ingredients on your list. This may come as a challenge especially when you are frustrated and go to push your beloved away. It is in these very moments when you actually need to push through that ego/personality control and soften to receive the love you are depriving yourself of. Try this next time you go to push your partner away (or anyone that you would usually allow in). Let them hold you. Let yourself be held.
When it comes to making love this opportunity to be held and cherished also requires your beloved to want to create a space for you that you feel safe enough to melt into. Where you do not need to be anything you are not, do not need to please, or even give to them. This is because at certain times it should be all about you receiving so you learn to awaken the softest most gentle part of the receptive feminine essence and they in return refine their ability to hold sacred space and be the masculine consciousness giving to you. While all you work on in that moment is BEING entirely open to receive.
Sit with this. Muse on it. Share it with your lover and see how you can bring this practice of exploring intimacy deeper into your relationship this week. You may like to set a date night to do so, and make sure you both honour it.
Ideally, communication and intimacy are combined – So you are able to feel seen, heard, held and cherished all at once to fully BE in your centre as a Divinely Empowered Woman – comfortable even in the vulnerability of her feminine power. This should not be seen as a ‘luxury’, and have you thinking “oh what a dream that would be if it was only realistic!” This is something you require to fully embrace the entire spectrum of who and what you are here to be. This is important. While it may take time to flow in your relationship it should be seen as a non-negotiable part of what you both share and invest in. Your being present fully in your empowered feminine is a gift in itself to your beloved, who gets to see, feel and connect with the all-encompassing Divine beauty you offer.
Letting go of habits, addictions, behaviour, relationships that no longer serve. Think of it as the ultimate detox. This is more challenging than a 3 day juice cleanse and may well take longer than a full wardrobe clean out. This is BIG. Full release and letting go requires you go deep. It may start with quitting sugar or be as challenging as stepping away from a relationship, job, religion or addiction that you know does not align with who you choose to be (because you’ve done the work to better know who that is!).
Just keep in mind, when you take something out that place which feels empty or ‘missing something’ needs to be filled with something else. This is not a swap from red wine to champagne or, from one unfulfilling relationship to another FYI. It is more like swapping commercial chocolate for raw vegan organic and sugar free chocolate. It is swapping the time you spend on social media to instead read an insightful book.
You are a wise, intelligent being who knows what you can replace with what. Also keep in mind, as with the cycles of life, you may be flying high one minute thinking, “Yes! I’ve got this, there is no going back ever again…”. Only to find yourself back doing that exact thing a week, month or year later. That is OK! Just know this is possible with releasing from habits and addictions. The more you bring yourself back on track, gently and with loving kindness while solidifying the new positive and nourishing habits, the stronger you will feel and the less power the old ways will have over you.
It is also totally fine to seek guidance and help with this. I would encourage it for the biggest addiction or habits especially. Working through releasing addiction is something I have guided souls through and have seen first hand how having support through the transition and a touch stone to connect with can also remind you, you’ve got this and ensure you keep going no matter what. Your other tools in your empowered feminine kit are compassion and non-judgment, which you have already been practicing to assist you along your path.
Passions & Purpose
The feminine is creativity. Diving into creative activities can be just the inspiration you need to unearth your passions and lead to your purpose to really ignite your power. Do not be afraid to play. Try something new and challenge your personal comfort zone.
Another opportunity to get vulnerable alone or in public is if you take a class. Creativity can allow your inner wisdom to shine as you may find the answer locked inside of you will come out on the canvas in paint, in the lyrics of the song you just penned, in the new gallery or space you visit etc. Beyond conventional art, your passion may be anything that makes your heart sing and at times feel as though time stops still (just what you need!). You may even set an intention before you throw yourself into your new or renewed passion, asking; “What is my message? How do I want to share it? What is my ‘why’ my ‘purpose’ here?” Be open to what comes up in any way. If an answer doesn’t come perhaps consider that you are on track and presently don’t need guidance at this point of time.
A word that gets thrown around like confetti in the new age seeker world, Consciousness requires more of that BIG ‘joywork’ you’ve been investing in throughout this process. I’m talking about your awareness of your own thoughts, feelings, words and actions. Using discernment every step of the way so not to be controlled by others or emotions (as you know that is giving your power away). But instead, standing strong in your own truth as a budding Divinely Empowered Woman, in alignment with your integrity, your why and purpose and the Divine / Source / Consciousness as the entire overarching mighty force.
How do you even start with this in a practical every day sense? Dropping into the gentle nature of you, your feminine to check in before you respond and ensure you don’t react in a way that isn’t your truth, that isn’t conscious / awake / present. This is a life time commitment but just like that pair of new shoes, this too gets comfier and easier to enjoy the more you walk it and work it, Baby! Best of all consciousness goes with everything.
The ultimate phase of feminine empowerment from within is working with flow, and surrendering to this like a stream that goes around the rocks and carries the broken branches as it forges onwards toward the ocean. This is part of the art of knowing when to push through and when to stop, when to let go and when to hold on. You will master this when you master the power of stillness, tapping in and opening to guidance from your heart, mind and soul / highest self.
When you can surrender to the parts of life that you can not control while gracefully controlling what you can, there is an ease about your every day. You are no longer tightly clenched – not your bottom, not your jaw not your stomach and nerves. You can soften so as to flow, being firm in your conviction and your principles but bending with the changing weather and seasons. You are evolved. Reconnected, reawakened and empowered.
You have arrived at a place of innate feminine wisdom for you are balancing your feminine and masculine in harmony within and in all areas of life. You are strong and confident, bending and flowing as you work through the challenges and achieve your goals. You manifest your dreams into reality all the while knowing your strength comes not from forcing and forging ahead with careless domination, but from all you have learnt along your path in these 11 Keys. And you continue to apply them every step of the way, day by day.
Revisit this guide, print it off, take a Key at a time to focus on for a week or a few months even. Set your own ‘joywork’ schedule and do the work. Do the work. You will only shine brighter for it as the diamond you are here to be – for yourself and all those fortunate enough to meet, work with and be graced by you.
May your commit to your reconnection of the feminine empowerment within you awaiting to be awakened!
With Love, Elise / S*M