My body is torn today, between ‘the show must go on’ and staying in bed.
Death does that.
It has this magnificent ability to shake your world like a snow globe.
What held such importance yesterday diminished in value by last night,
And it brought a deep silence and stillness upon this space.
I’m not sure what’s harder; receiving that call or then having to make it yourself.
As a student of ‘A Course in Miracles’ I was drawn to the book later that night and I read;
Nothing real can be threatened.
Nothing unreal exists.
And I felt the strings of our entwined hearts pull together a little closer.
For Love is what’s real. Even in the face of Death, Love is the light that shines through the cracks and Love is the light of dawn that greets us, for the show will go on.
The Death card in the Tarot – Beyond the archetypal experience of death, this card represents imminent change or a mystical, initiatory ‘death like’ experience.
We all experience death in different forms throughout our life, often in more ways than we realise.
Death may come to our door to take with it a beloved or show itself by creating an ending to relationship, a job, a home. Death may appear when at times it feels too soon; taking a young soul from this earth, or it may even arrive in the form of a miscarriage of an unborn child, or a dream unrealised.
I wrote about KALI, the Goddess of endings and beginnings the other day. For that was what I felt bubbling up inside of me. I felt a ‘death’ upon me, within me, around me. But I couldn’t see it. I put it down to my own evolution, to an inner cycle that was concluding, clearing what no longer served to make space for the new to be birthed, for creation to manifest in a physical form. And this holds true.
Though just last night I was supposed to board a flight but I chose not to go. I knew I had to be here for whatever reason. And I’m grateful I listened to that Divine intuition for the same time I would have been in the plane I received a phone call that a tribe member was no longer with us. It’s a call you never want to receive and it was a call I didn’t want to then make.
Death has visited my door several times this year, in the form of beloveds departing this earth, of cycles ending and life not surviving.
I have bared witness to these deaths and of deaths that have deeply shaken others; I’ve felt their pain and mine. I’ve held their hands, their sobbing bodies and kissed their tear marked cheeks. I have listened and offered council when it was asked for and I have sat in silence under the stars side by side. I have written to allow my heart to pour out all that was left inside, I have meditated, connected with those crossed over, withdrawn and reconnected. Cried with the ending and felt peace with a new beginning.
We each handle ‘loss’ in our own way, some of us ‘deal with it’, go through the motions, keep busy, cut off. There is a process to any form of grief, and while Death may not be an easy topic on any given day, having an awareness of the energy, emotions and physical responses that it may evoke within you is important to grasp.
I want to share with you these stages so when next you are faced with the experience, at some point in your healing process, you may draw some strength, comfort or peace in knowing life and death are part of the same cycle in this world and from the darkest hour springs the crack of dawn.
The Judgment card in Tarot – Being the XX (2oth) card in the pack, Judgment combines 2 & 0 to equal 2. Connecting it then to the High Priestess card; of personal or inner truth and of the Justice card; social or community truths. The combination of these truths which vary between us all becomes a vital component of our self-realisation. the Judgement card is also looked upon as a sign of ‘re-birth’ or ‘renewal’, shedding of ‘ego’, rising from the ashes.
The Seven Stages of Grief
The grief model was first introduced by American psychiatrist, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book, On Death and Dying. As Kübler-Ross notes, the order of these emotions are by no means set, neither are they the entirety of emotions experienced, some people may experience other grief symptoms. This is a merely a guide to offer you some insight.
Feeling a sense of numbness upon hearing unexpected news can put you into a state of shock or disbelief. It may be a reaction you would not anticipate from a devastating experience as the devastating feelings may not arise immediately at this early stage.
This is less about forgetting what has occurred and more about telling people and yourself, “I am fine”. Often because you aren’t aware of your true feelings as you haven’t given yourself time to tap into your heart space, or you are finding it difficult (“unable to”) communicate your feeling with words or share how you are feeling at all, even with those of your closest tribe.
This is not an emotion experienced by everyone. But it is worthy to note that feelings of anger at yourself, the person involved (who may have passed) for ‘leaving you behind’ or at the situation, for how or why it occurred etc, are possible. Feelings of ‘anger’ towards the Universe / God / Divine Source are also possible at this stage. Seeking Grief Coaching to work through these emotions is valuable at this time.
This is less likely after the death of a beloved and more often present after the break-up of a relationship, divorce, the ending of job, home loss or another grand transition where the belief may arise that The Universe / God / Divine Source has the power to change the situation for you.
This is a feeling that may arise if you didn’t get to say or do everything you would have, or wanted to before the beloved passed or left. It may even be guilt for saying or doing something you wish you hadn’t before they passed or left. Guilt can also be a strong emotion women face after miscarriage; feeling in some way it was their fault, or after abortion, in regards to whether they made the right choice. Again, seeking council, coaching, or holistic healing during these times can be of tremendous help by providing a safe space for you to share with a qualified guide to assist with your healing process.
The profound sadness that is depression is a normal human response to grief and loss. The symptoms of grief are very similar to those of clinical depression. The time frame that you feel this emotion is personally dependant. Time and an inner fortitude of strength and love will help crack through the darkness and you will come through to the daylight.
While life may never be the same again, it will go on. You will go on. At times we can look back fondly then realise we are stronger, wiser, more filled with love, understanding, compassion and loving kindness for ourselves and for others now we have walked in such darkness and experienced such heartache. A gift of grief is that it makes us tender to the suffering of others. Accepting this transition and loss allows for our own rebirth. For it is in surrendering to the power of nature, the circle of life that helps us transcend and be one with the Divine Flow.
The Sun card in the Tarot – A card symbolic of the powerful life force, radiance and heat of the planet and central star, the Sun. Also closely connected to the astrological ruler, Leo as well as of the the Sun Gods of all cultures who symbolised the rising spirit and the generative principle of ‘in-light-enment’, higher truths or the ‘true light’.
This week reminded me true love is eternal, it is ever lasting. The body may go to earth and the soul may continue it’s journey of evolution elsewhere, but that love that was cultivated still remains. And with that I saw their smile, I heard them speak and I knew they were happy where they are now and we will forever love them and all we shared.
If you are on this healing journey after a loss, death or transition please know there is support available to you if you seek it. Part of my coaching and holistic practice focuses on the healing from miscarriage and abortion, death and parting with beloveds and transitioning back into the Divine Flow and reawakening your power from within. If you desire to connect with me for coaching and/or healing on these or other areas please contact me here.
With Love, Elise / S*M