Feminine Disconnection to Reconnection
You and I both know what it is like living a fast paced lifestyle; the burning desire to succeed and achieve, tick the boxes, get it all done before a certain time or age and have all the glory and ‘things’ that go with that as a result of your non-stop pushing, striving, doing, and making it happen attitude and action plan. There is a place for this drive, it is an innate part of each of us, women and men. Though this mentality is of a masculine nature and when it is out of control you are not in harmony nor balance within yourself. Your relationships will be effected, so too will your health; mental, emotional, spiritual and sexual wellbeing.
You likely already sense this or, you may be asking how do I know if I am driving too hard? Pushing too much in my Masculine and are consequently disconnected from my Feminine?
7 signs flashing ‘Feminine Disconnect’ that you need to take action on now!
1# You’re going too fast
This is danger zone material, Gorgeous Soul! If your zipping from here to there non-stop it is time slow down. Take a moment. Pause throughout your day. Learn the art of deep breathing, ground your feet on the earth, go to an inspiring class, nourish your soul and spirit, switch off from devices, have a drink of clean water, eat lunch outside, listen to your inner highest self, your inner voice, that is the Divine Feminine speaking to you – listen to her!
2# You’re always “Busy!”
Drop the word BUSY from your vocabulary to start with. Replace it will ‘Full Schedule’ if need be then assess; if you really stripped back your ‘busyness’ where can you make time for you and your beloved or loved ones? Perhaps start with the time you spend on social media, procrastinating, surfing the internet or mind-numbing viewing of any sort. Crowding these times out with soul fuel of quality you time and time with your dearest means there isn’t that ‘emptiness’ feeling craving to be filled with short lived external gratification.
While having a full schedule may be a way of life for many of us in this day and age, in order for you to strike a balance it means, just like the rest of your life, you need to block out non-negotiable time for you and your beloved. This means you don’t let other things that aren’t important take your power and thus your time. Do not allow guilt and shame to take over here – your shadow self, your ego, may well try to take over. Reel it back in and get your priorities in order. To live a healthy, fulfilled, harmonised life you do need quality you time, even if it is a small window each day enjoying a cup of organic herbal tea or taking a class, or having a sleep in. Likewise, your relationship with your partner needs investing in too. For more insight on this check out Sacred Sessions: Scheduling Love Making & 50 Shades of Sacred Date Nights: Sexspiration Guide.
3# You can’t remember the last time you were creative, the way you love to be
Be it dancing at a festival, making nourishing foods from scratch, experimenting with photography, sewing clothes or quilts, learning a new language, getting your hands dirty or your body moving. Creativity appears in countless forms. This is your self-expression manifested any way you can imagine. Your deepest desire to create is within in you, whispering to you, this is your Divine Feminine nature calling you to awaken this part of yourself to feel more whole, more you. What creative outlet is your inner Divine Feminine hungry for?
4# You aren’t feeling sexy,
Or owning your; body temple, your sexuality, your sensuality, the essence that makes you feel like a sensual being. Tapping back into this part of you may be as simple as changing the clothes you wear, making time to nourish and adorn your body, take a hot bath, get a massage, wear essential oils, do you hair different. Though especially it is about reconnecting to your inner feminine nature that inner Goddess and reawakening from here. External changes can help but the big shift comes from within, it is a mindset, it is within your thoughts patterns, it is your perception of self. Heart-storm this (not brain-storm!), feel into your sensuality. For a more practical insight you may enjoy; 10 Steps to Reawaken Your Sensual Self. (*Please note this is true for men and women, this is gender specific).
5# You desire a deeper connection to yourself, to something greater than you and to your beloved and your tribe
Loving kindness, compassion, non-judgment, humility, intimacy, connection, divinity, grace. All these are core foundation elements to a harmonised life with self and with your beloved to then expand to that which is greater. To explore how to invest in these and your connection to The Divine check out; Your Best Threesome Ever; Soul, Spirit & Tribe
6# You’ve forgotten who you really are
What lights you up? What brings you joy? What are your passions? What is your Soul purpose? Why are you here? Beyond the who and the why, how about what you really are? Sit with these questions, heart-storm them, journal or meditate on them. Reconnect to that Feminine ‘Shakti’/Goddess energy that is you by inviting her in. Asking her to move through you, give you signs, inspire you, guide and direct you. Then be open to seeing, hearing, sensing, feeling, how she is communicating with you and take action. The action steps you take are what will make the grand changes. For nothing will shift without you stepping up here and committing to reconnecting to your inner Feminine.
7# You know you can’t continue like this any longer
This is when your body, heart, soul and spirit, and especially the divine Feminine within you is ‘yelling’ to get your attention. You may feel like you’re going out of your mind; it may appear to be depression, anxiety, restlessness, unease, frustration, bouts of sadness or anger, a general feeling of disconnection from self and others and especially the life you have constructed for yourself. This can also be seen as experiencing a Spiritual Crisis – you have some shadows which need be looked at; guilt, shame, abuse, neglect – involving others and or yourself. You are called upon to confront, work through, forgive and get your power back … this may also require guidance from a professional.
You will know you cannot continue like this any longer when your physical body, heart and soul speaks to you though you often ignore it – feeling disconnected, neutral, no joy or excitement in life. That is the Divine Feminine talking to you, your higher-self talking to you, your spirit, heart, body speaking with you and you are asked to join the conversation and ask; “what do you need me to know right now?” Whatever you need to confront will come through when you show you are open to the conversation and ready to do the work.
Where to from Here?
The Journey of Feminine Reconnection Awaits
You are asked to have courage – from the French word Coeur meaning ‘heart’– and you will step into this, or you will stay disconnected from the Feminine and thus disempowered. This is also known as dark shadow work. It requires you going within yourself and being brave enough to open the box you have pushed into your own inner depths of who, what, where, and then do the work.
Reconnecting to the Divine Feminine and your personal feminine nature calls you to take The Feminine Journey of Life. This is about going into the underworld –just like Persephone travelled to the underworld of Hades –you will travel to your inner world, into the parts of yourself that aren’t the versions you like to show anyone, even yourself. The reality here is that not everything is sparkles and fairy dust, sunshine and moon beams. You are required now to face the darkness, acknowledge “I have some shadows. I need to start listening to how I talk to myself, my judgment and criticism of self and of others, guilt or shame, sexual abuse, neglect, abandonment, self-persecution.…”. What is it that you are yet to confront, work through and forgive and get your power back from?
This is big, deep work, you often want someone who can guide you along the way.
This phase is likely aligned with a spiritual crisis or dark night of the soul. You may have reached this point because you burnt yourself out living too much in your masculine. Now you have chosen to do the work or, this darkness arose because you were not listening to the Feminine calling and it could wait no more, for your soul growth was being stagnated in the current situation you were in. This is a result of having ignored the energetic and emotional signs that tried for your attention, and now they are manifesting physically, screaming at you to get you to take action – your body on all levels is begging to communicate with you and you are being asked to step up and lean in, listen and start taking action by first asking “what do you need me to know right now?” with hand on heart and womb space as you ask if it resonates.
Do not be afraid to confront your inner self, your dark goddess, your ego self in this underworld; the rage, compulsion, anger, narcissism, vanity, over consumption (of food, drugs, materialism, sex, information, money, status etc.) Whatever it is you need to confront will come up and come through to the surface and it will ask of you to then honour yourself enough to commit to travelling along this dark path which you need to walk before you come out into the light of the new day. This will require change. It demands an alchemy of who you have been into who you choose to become. This is for you to evolve as a spirit and soul and reawaken as the Divinely Empowered Woman you are here to be, in harmony with your light and shadow, in harmony with your masculine and feminine.
You will know when it is the time to go within, find the box, open it and confront what you have hidden there. When it is time to honour the darkness as the underground path to greater consciousness, love and light. When you come out the other side and return to the world above you will be a different version of self; like the butterfly freeing itself from the darkness and rebirth of the cocoon phase. Greatly as a product of your commitment to face your darkness in its entirely, surrender to it and choose Love over Fear. Seeing the darkness but no longer fuelling it by choosing the drama it thrives off. Instead you will detach, get clarity, breathe deeper and summon your most authentic self. Your upmost integrity will instead choose the road of forgiveness of self and others at a soul level. This is alchemy, this is sacred mysticism, this is the path of consciousness and Light.
As you enter this phase of your journey keep in mind along the way;
Be Vulnerable, with BOUNDARIES
Sharing your life story with all your friends and family, and even on social media such as Facebook may leave you wide open to criticism you may not yet be strong enough to receive. Be cautious of what you share with whom,
Take the time to acknowledge this ‘crisis’ to yourself before you seek guidance or an audience to share.
Ask: What can I actively do myself; have a conversation, express what is within me – be vulnerable with boundaries.
Get naked, real, raw, vulnerable with yourself and feel into what is a safe zone to then share with your beloved, friend, the Divine, a professional. There is no reward in feeding the shadows of ‘ego’ ‘glamour’ and ‘drama’ by sharing the epic saga of your life beyond a safe container and sacred space that you create with yourself, a beloved, a professional or intimate tribe of loved ones.
What You Resist Persists
The resistance that you will face here, for fear of ‘whatever’ will persist if you leave it and continue on as you are. Until you start stepping up it will not shift. Nothing will change miraculously into Light if you do not become water and flow with the shift that is calling you. This is where your courage comes in. Where you must acknowledge you need to take the first steps to free yourself by facing both your shadow self and light.
This is a life commitment. Once you have worked through the ‘closet’ of your shadow life, the entire ‘box’ of all you have suppressed deep within, you then need maintenance control; you learn the role of the Witness and the art of perspective; you pull back to see the bigger picture allowing yourself to feel into the harmony of your Divine Masculine and Feminine as you no longer see one greater than the other, no longer pass judgment and instead come from loving kindness and compassion for both parts of yourself.
This is striking the balance of inner peace. This is what your soul is hungry for, not money, not a new car, not a island holiday escape or new relationship along with a promotion. If you are not feeling in harmony and in peace with yourself nothing external will fill you up.
How Can I Start This Journey of Feminine Reconnection?
Pull back from the inner push and belief you must be ‘productive’ and ‘doing’ something all the time. Sit with ‘being’ in the moment, being present in conversations, be present wherever you are and not ‘rushing’ to get anywhere.
Take a look at your schedule
Start blocking out ‘Me Time’ & ‘Sacred Sessions’
How am I right now? How am I sitting? Pull up, roll the shoulders up, back and down, tilt your pelvis under, place both your feet firmly on the floor. Get present in the here and now physically.
Deep, full bellied breaths as you inhale and slow, long belly to spine exhales. Repeat 10 times first thing in the morning, throughout your day and when you lay down to sleep at night.
Nourish, Create, Explore
Feeding your body nourishing food, clean water, sleep, movement of body to tone and strengthen (balance masculine and feminine). And enjoy the experiences of taking pleasure in moving the body, in preparing nourishing organic food, in exploring your creativity and how you want to express this.
Open to the Divine Source, to connect with that which is greater than you but also within you. This may be with a guided meditation, in a class, outside in nature, in stillness on a cushion in your own home.
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Create a daily practice for your sexual and spiritual self – (breast mediation and massage / yoni practice / tigress practice to honour and commit to daily).
Lead with the heart (your breasts & nipples as a woman) – not the head. This means coming from a place of loving kindness, compassion, non-judgment, humility.
Pass on the flame from your heart – You liberate yourself and free yourself by also liberating others. Coming from love will raise your energy and in return there will be others who will want to align with this and rise too. There is more than enough for all as energy is plentiful, infinite. Share your heart, share the Love and shine it forth. This requires you be fiercely compassionate especially when you feel angry, jealous, or hatred within – do not judge or resist out of fear. Compassion is wisdom and wisdom is in letting this dissolve as you come back to choosing love in that moment and forgiving yourself for getting frustrated and upset in the first place. That simple. Feminine wisdom is recognising what is going on and being fiercely compassionate and clear, come from loving kindness with firm boundaries – listen to your heart and trust your inner guidance and highest self here.
Make empowered choices – Every choice you make is one of fear or love, it is leading you down a fated path or on a journey of your Destiny. Be very very conscious about each choice, what you say in your mind to yourself is just as important as that which you speak out loud.
Feminine Reconnection Come Full Circle:
Harmony with Inner Feminine and Masculine Energies
When you are called to your souls’ mission, even when the Universe shakes your tree you can stand strong in the midst of this chaos for you have looked at your dark inside, buried deep within. You have seen it for what it is and no longer choose to ‘be’, ‘have’ or allow this part to lead your life anymore. You have in return awakened your true inner power; the empowerment that has been waiting for you all along to remember and awaken to it.
While you can take the path of least resistance, not facing your darkness and, still be kind, loving and ‘spiritual’ without awakening this authentic empowerment within, you will stay prone to being manipulated still; by others, circumstance and by your own ego. You will remain disconnected from your power and continue moving through life as though your ultimate, Divinely Empowered self is asleep.
It is only in surrendering to your beckoning destiny, that you can take this journey to change your very core, to alchemise your power so that you live into the purpose of your souls mission here as the love you are and as the Divinely Empowered Woman you are here to be.
The choice, as always, is yours.
May you awaken your Divine Empowerment from Within and live into the harmony that is the inner balance of the Divine Feminine and Masculine energies of all life.
With Love, Elise / S*M