3 Phases to Evolving the Feminine: Primal, Emotional & Heart





What if we haven’t seen the purest feminine energy yet?

What if we only see lower aspects of femininity while there is so much more longing to be revealed and revived, made safe enough and loved enough to Awaken in you and each woman?

I’m certain there is more than we can even imagine right now.

Working through this along my path and supporting women along theirs, I have been inspired to create you an in-depth guide of how to’s, insights, raw truth, beauty, wisdom and inspiration to shift from living in a shell of illusive female empowerment to radiating your unique femininity.


The best way to use this guide is to read through the words on the page right here then return to click through to some of the links that call you loudest. This is a labyrinth of wisdom that I’ve curated for you to use as a springboard to further explore your own journey. Reading and applying the guidance and suggestions as you feel is best for you. Somethings may not apply to you now or yet, some may not resonate with you, and some may get you feeling and questioning all sorts of things. That is fine. Let this meet you where you are right now, knowing there is so much for you still to embrace, if you choose. Remember; finding your own way to use this guide is like finding your way along the path to fully embracing and living from your unique femininity and essence – it is utterly personalised to you.



Take a moment to ask yourself;

What is feminine energy?

As a quality, when I remove the feminine ‘traits’ and strip away all the glamours and illusions that are blinding me, what remains?


If you aren’t aware of the glamours and illusions I’m referring to let me share with you how we have done a fabulous job -with much gratitude to the new age and the revival of the goddess- to clothe the pure feminine energy within you in everything possible; from crystals and oracle cards, to new age goddess and revived ancient rituals with western interpretations, yoni puja and moon time ceremonies, to expressing emotions by hitting pillows while screaming in ‘Kali’ mode and calling it ‘body work’ and ‘embodying the feminine’ and thus ‘spiritual’ and ‘evolved’. From a place of love and a burning intention of sharing truth with you I will say, that is not spiritual. Nor is it evolved. It is connected to the primal, the animal, the innocent and thus the early phase of development. A phase often void of pure heart, consciousness and connection to Spirit, despite best intentions.


As you know, there are so many doorways on offer to walk through right now. It is only likely you’ve found yourself at a gathering of women worshipping ‘Shakti’ or something in her place, screaming, crying, sharing, releasing and being told this is THE way. Perhaps even being told you need to do this every day on your own and every week here ‘with us’ in this group. This is only ONE way, which has been over glamourised, over promoted and, highly marketed to keep you in the illusive state of what the feminine can be. Call it what you may but it is not the path of consciousness nor the destination your soul is wanting for you. If you listen deep within you it may not even be a stop along your authentic journey. That’s something for you to Muse on and decide.


I’ve held goddess circles to bring women together, to deep dive, explore, share and lead meditations on the goddess to reflect on and embody her qualities, to release and open to the healing process. I’ve done so with awareness of this being a stepping stone that some of us need before we commit to a path of consciousness, of awakening the pure essence of femininity within. There is beauty in sharing, in holding space for each other and feeling entirely safe to be held in the loving embrace of the feminine. But in this form, it is a vehicle, a phase, and often only able to be effective when you are aware that most of the experience is only able to refer to the ultimate femininity through the symbolism of ritual. It isn’t the feminine essence itself. There are incredible space holders who offer workshops, gatherings and retreats etc. to explore this work. But the conscious ones do so through their heart. With emotions in harmony and alignment, they do not come from the place of the animal nature. These sacred space holders will take discernment of heart, mind and higher soul impulse for you to find.


I’ve also attended circles where women are encouraged to frantically gyrate the floor to let go of anger towards men, swear, shake and scream at the top of their lungs and punch pillows as they were lead to by the woman in charge. Who told them it is emotional release they should do daily to heal their pain of rejection, abandonment and betrayal. This is pure animal nature. Exploring here may be essential for you, or you may not need this phase at all. If it harms none, it is fine. The danger however is staying here in this phase at the detriment of your spiritual growth, being led by someone who is not coming from heart, mind and soul united.


I have also been trained in a variety of fields including the ancient practices and sacred arts of the authentic jade egg and the White Tigress. And while these beautiful practices, when done authentically and used correctly, can show you parts of yourself, can assist in healing, awakening and connecting amid many gifts they offer, they are only part of a path. They are not the entire path nor the destination of ultimate femininity.  I share all of this with you as I have been there. I have ‘tried on different shoes’ of what’s on offer from self help / spiritual / new age books, to busting moves at cacao ceremonies, consulting my array of cards and cleansing my crystals under the super strawberry full moon. And, while I have held sacred space for gatherings of women, consciously from a place of love and wisdom in the pursuit of truth, the journey does not stop there. Far from it. Some experiences and spaces are created and held in Love and Light, integrity, authenticity and soul contact. Others are misguided and even dangerous to be part of. You will have to call upon your integrity and discernment to choose for yourself what serves you and who is authentic and truly a teacher to guide you along your path.


What has this got to do with your authentic femininity?

It is that amid all of this we have gotten lost in the hall of mirrors. Especially with the social and online expansion and, nonstop events and groups. Under many names the online communities that are all around the world can be powerful, feel like home, a place to share and be heard, seen and feel held. That is a gift they can bestow. But just as community so too are workshops, gatherings and guidance given by women and men who are just as lost in their own illusions and glamour’s unable to truly help you. False guidance will more than likely hinder your feminine and your path. This is because many people in positions of “authority” in these circles are not able to lead you to your truth when they do not know their own. Nor do they always come from pure service for your souls’ highest good. They can only lead you along, following them as they attempt to negate or avoid their own truth, dragging you down with them or, holding you and/or your spiritual growth hostage.


The other obstacle is when a group of unknowing, hungry and searching, yearning and pained come together. Even under the best intentions the collective energy may be one of support for each other’s pain and scars, validation even for just showing up when it hurts so much or you feel totally lost. This may feel nourishing at times, perhaps just what you needed to read, or write, see or share. But, also keep in mind what is offered cannot come close to what you already have within which is awaiting your unveiling.


Living in the online groups, attending workshop after workshop, or seeing teacher after teacher or even being told you must stay with a certain teacher and pay for their services every other week to ‘heal’ while practicing ritual after ritual, will not lead you where you are longing most to go.


Events, practices and rituals are tools, doors, springboards and starting points to the long journey ahead – sometimes they are what you need, sometimes they are leading you off path. Likewise, teachers, guides and those who offer council are supposed to have your soul/highest self as their priority. Not money, Likes, personal power or status and external glory. Neither should they be telling or manipulating you to stay with them and their teachings, and not encouraging you to also or instead seek others who can serve your growth. Part of being a teacher and mentor is knowing that there comes a time when your student must go it alone or onto their next guide to continue to grow. After all, is that not why you are here; to grow as a Soul to better serve other Souls and all that is.


I share this to shine a light, to illuminate for you a darkness that perhaps you may be staying in too long. I encourage you to see beyond the shiny, sexy, juicy, goddess worship, desire filled, feel good, orgasmic energy, yoni massage, ritual filled, ‘everyone’s doing it’ ways that the many around you are selling, promoting and promising will heal and fill that void in you. They are often distractions from your calling to the BIG work. They are ‘shoes to try on’ only if the desire is that strong and irresistible (or better still, you feel an impulse from your high self, your soul, to do so). They are not your saviour, your guru leading the way or, even your innate truth.


In your longing to be truly seen for who you are, held in perfect safety, heard, loved and cherished entirely, know you already ARE by that which is greater than you, by souls around you that you may not yet be able to connect with or see. And that, when you strip all of this illusion, all these traits of desired divinity we clothe the feminine in, you will free yourself to embrace a path of truth, love and beauty. A path you have still yet to walk. One that will lead you authentically to the heart of your unique feminine essence. This is what I want to point towards for you now.


So, if it calls you can be off on your way of awakening your sacred, powerful and entirely unique feminine essence to share with the world, to channel and radiate wherever you go. For living from this place, you are reborn as you reawaken from the chrysalis you have been inside, to now become the butterfly you are here to be.


From Symbols & Ritual to a Return to the Way of the Feminine Heart

Symbols and rituals that I’ve mentioned above that are becoming increasingly popular amongst many groups and movements today are only supposed to be used to show the way to what is hidden. They are supposed to be symbolic, to lead you to a place you don’t know yet. Think of them as stepping stones IF you need them. When safe and for your growth they are a base to build upon and evolve further along the path. Using your own discernment and integrity at all times, you are free to use anything available to find yourself closer to the goal – that being consciousness or enlightenment or whatever you resonate with – but there is far more to it than what we talk about now.



Where to From Here?

Walking the path of embracing your Sacred Feminine Essence is one of learning to explore, and awaken each phase within. This is an ever-evolving experience for each woman to journey through. As all is energy and nothing is stagnant you are not designed to stay dwelling in the lower phases for your entire life. You are born to evolve and grow to expand your consciousness and soul connection.


This requires you to evolve from primal ‘externalised goddess worshipping, Shakti Kali’ or compulsive addiction mode to emotional femininity of feeling, of working through desires and wants, traumas and memories, to releasing them and the ego’s control. To then devote your time walking this path peeling back illusion after illusion to reveal your unique feminine essence, your most unique quality – which all women possess – you and all women have her own unique scent, a signature of original femininity like no other that dwells within, waiting for you to feel it, connect with it and radiate it out. So your ultimate feminine power of magnetism can be experienced, shared and used for the greatest good.


Knowing there will be cycles within cycles. That too is feminine; the emotions that pull you back down into the drama, the excitement of that spiritual guru’s new must have book, the event or training by that thought leader or so hot right now school, that your friends are signing up for, and that addiction or habit that keeps creeping back in… and before you know it, you’re back in the hall of mirrors. Giving into temptation of a habit or pattern that doesn’t serve you. Or devoting yourself to the primal rituals of your sacral / sexual centre; worshipping and honouring the physical and form worlds from crystals, cards and moon time rituals, to orgasm unleashing pleasures, while sipping some new elixir and having someone make you feel your own kundalini rising while you kneel before them. (*Note: that is not kundalini). These are cycles, as at times you may want to go there, explore then move on, then come back, then move on again. That is totally ok. Just be aware of your personal pattern. Of where you spend most of your time, of what your truth is and if you are honouring it, and if you are growing.


When you are not in ‘sex nature’, not in ‘erratic emotions’ or ‘desire impulse’ you need to be in your feminine pure, your authentic heart quality. I’m not suggesting you have to lose the lower forms and cease exploring sexuality, sensuality, pleasure and learning to experience and release emotions for growth. Neither do you need to throw out your favourite amethyst and rose quartz you’ve just charged along with your white sage, candles, moon chalice and goddess  / new age spiritual books. (I’ve still got mine and they still have a place). But, you may find organically your ‘desires’ for all or most of this will slowly drop away. Their significance and meaning shifts as you begin to see their ‘symbolism’ instead of them trying to ‘be’ your expression and essence of the feminine. You may begin to notice what nourished you once, got you a ‘spiritual high’, felt like a sisterhood or safe community, or even your favourite daily, monthly, or seasonal ritual no longer gives you a quick ‘spiritual’ hit, juicy buzz or that nourishing full feeling. Nor does it feel like where you are meant to be or what you are meant to be doing anymore.


Ask yourself right now:

How does this resonate with me?

Does all I was doing six or 12 months ago still light me up?

Is it time to let go and find what I’m truly being called to experiment with and explore?

What does my heart long for?

What is my Soul whispering to me?

What is ONE action I will take today for my heart / Soul and ultimately my growth?


At the same time, there is no need for you to fear that you will be failing or becoming weak if you let go of these tools and symbols and instead deepen your ability to connect from pure feminine heart. That after you fought so hard for your feminine ‘goddess’ empowerment in your career, relationships, day to day life, that this is a step backwards to weakness. It is not. The pendulum has swung so far one way to suppress, kill off and disempower femininity. It had to swing all the way back to empowerment externalised in either a masculine way just to be seen, heard and gain ground or, an overtly ‘goddess’ crystal wearing Shakti barefoot moon maiden kind of way to try reclaim ‘who’ and ‘what’ you are. So, that job may well be done for you. Only you know the answer to that. If you sense disconnect, or emptiness, even burnout approaching or other key signs they may well be telling you something here.

At this pivotal point I am inviting you to open up to the Now being the new wave of femininity rebirthed, as it comes into harmony in the centre – your centre of heart. The real place of female power. It is by organically moving through the three key phases of femininity that you will connect to the many facets of the diamond that is you, stage by stage along your life’s journey. Coming into deeper expression and connection with your personal essence that is your unique feminine quality. And how beautiful, true and of perfect love it will be.


It’s important to know there are many other nuanced phases within these key three. But, before you journey deeper, you first want to make sense of your primal nature, your emotions and your heart. Bearing in mind femininity has qualitative qualities, reflections if you will, that can be seen and expressed within all women, as you progress from one phase to the next.

Femininity is receptivity. It is expansive magnetism and harmony. It absorbs light and responds to energies, as it changes because of another energy…



To give you a clear distinction of the three key phases, and how they evolve from one to the next, I have broken them down and attached links to relevant articles. These will offer guidance for you to deep dive and, assist you to explore your personal phases of: the primal, emotional and heart;



Primal Femininity – Sexuality, Desire, Animal Nature, Physical / Form

Your physical body, especially the sex nature including; sex organs/yoni and your sexuality. Think; sacral centre, primitive/animal nature, external projection, body image, embodying archetypes and ‘playing’ roles. From yoni massage to rituals of menstruation and the moon, to shaking in ‘Shakti’ mode or, dropping into your ‘Kali’ etc or a version of yourself you don’t like and know it isn’t ‘you’. Just to distinguish with an example; your moon time / menstruation is biologically part of what makes your body female, it is not the quality of femininity. Focusing the majority of your attention on your physical body and or sex centre is like creating a shell of femininity or a cup that longs to be filled with the actual essence; the exterior may be perfectly constructed but it is hollow/empty inside if there is no connection to heart, soul and consciousness. No connection to ‘what’ you really are. It’s like spending a life time playing dress ups to convince everyone around you that you are the ‘princess’, ‘Girl Boss’ ‘warrior’, ‘entrepreneur of the year’ ‘dakini’, ‘super mum’, ‘CEO’, ‘queen’. When that is a ‘suit’ you put on. An archetype or just an aspect of you in the physical and form world. Not the authentic you.


If you are working or exploring in this realm, ideally it should include the higher aspects of femininity too. As from here you are striving to use not only the body or sex organs and their functions, pleasures and sensations but, to also come from the purest nature of femininity – which leads you to take the journey toward balanced emotions and heart. Not just worshiping the form, external, physical or biological.


This does not mean exploring in this space is ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’. That is a question of your discernment and personal growth. For some it may be a very short phase here, for others they spend their lives and even devote their life to this phase – sometimes as they feel stuck and can’t see a way out. Other times as a teacher who has learned so much from this phase, they are working in it to guide others through. These teachers are there for you to learn from. Teachings of the primal phase may well be their gift to you. They may assist you through the phase, but they are not there to hold you captive in any form, nor encourage you to dwell and continue cycling in it without also encouraging you to explore the continuation of unveiling your unique femininity in other phases.


Explore moving through the Primal phase of femininity HERE:

Tantra, Kundalini & The Jade Egg; from Sacred to Sexual Fast Food

Permission to Enter: Why Your Yoni is Official Invite Only!

Awakening Kundalini Shakti / the Divine Feminine / the Great- Goddess

Prostituting Your Soul or Living You Empowered Truth



Emotional Femininity – Feelings & Cycles, the Fluid Connector Between Primal and Heart

Feel into yourself, Solar Plexis. Think; victim (or aspiring heroine), saboteur or self-sabotage, desires, wants, the astral plane including feelings and emotions, learning the rhythm of your personality and growth cycles and, your personal patterns. Acknowledging the pain, sadness, anger, shame, guilt, abandonment, lack of self-worth, needing to earn love through what you can do as opposed to being who you are etc. by exploring your ‘feelings’. While this phase of emotions is astral it is attached to both; primal/sexual and, can also allow you to feel true aspects through the heart. That is why this phase is very fluid. It can be easy to shift between dropping into primal or personality mode, and at times challenging to raise into the heart. Though either is entirely possible.  This is also the place of worship (including worshipping another, a higher power, a beloved, a Guru or guide). And, it is also the place you identify with who you are or who you portray yourself to be. You may even notice hostility to the masculine force within the layers of your emotions, as it has been hurt by the masculine.

Prone to shift and change depending on circumstance, the emotional phase is fluid, naturally, like the feminine. The key is that these emotions you feel should lead to the real source of the energy from where they come, not get you caught up in the emotional chaos of the drama. When you embody femininity through emotions it can call for vulnerability through receptivity, ultimately to lead to your own unique magnetism.


The feminine is the receptacle; physically with the yoni/vagina receiving the lingam/penis in love making, but also on an emotional and energetic level. It is in balancing the power of emotions – how you let them take over or not – that you can hold onto and not give your power away to a situation, experience, or person. I’m not implying you suppress or bottle up your emotions whatsoever. But, instead begin to strengthen your ability to drop into the witness when your emotions are charged. This takes patience when you want to yell, write an angry email or text, or throw a shoe across the room. You acknowledge that is an animal/primal reaction and your feelings have a similar emotional attachment. This reaction and emotion is not ‘you’ in your most empowered or feminine state. It is not the person you choose to be. You can ask yourself in this situation; What would the most feminine version of me do now? What would my heart do? This pause may be enough to prompt you to calm and raise your emotions closer to heart alignment. Instead of being overtaken by emotions and letting them lead you unconsciously down into ‘Kali’ mode, judgment or attack.


The phase of emotions is all very multi-layered and nuanced. Which doesn’t make it an easy phase for most. It may be confusing when you can’t regulate your own emotions, when they all too easily can make relationships harder – especially as you are more sensitive to people and their feelings as well as your own. Though emotions can also be a strength; empathy, knowing what people are going through, compassion, etc. These are part of the way of the heart weaving into your balanced emotions. Closer to where you want to dwell.


How can you calm an emotional storm?

Be the Witness

Are you reacting from primal / animal nature / ego / fear / defensiveness or, are you able to take a moment and respond with calm, loving kindness and clarity? Watch yourself. Learn how your emotions control you in the most heated of situations. When someone ‘hurts’ you, what do you do? What is your default reaction? How can you then begin to shift and slowly, gently change from this pattern to instead controlling your emotions enough to not let them control you? This is part of taking back your power. Of growth and evolution along the path. This is part of the journey of shifting from emotion to heart, and moving closer to your true femininity – the place where arguments and chaos are handled instead with serenity, with the power of stillness and observation, before a response if it is useful. Not a fiery reaction and outburst.


You may like to;

Create Sacred Space 

A spot for yourself to be able to sit comfortably in; part of the home or in your bedroom. As an example; with a cushion and your journal and pen close by if you like to take notes.



In this sacred space, you can explore your breath in safety and stillness. Deep, full bellied breaths as you inhale and slowly fill your belly like a Buddha, pause, then a long slow exhale as you bring your belly toward your spine, pause. You can repeat this 3 – 10 times first thing in the morning, throughout your day and/or when you lay down to sleep at night as well as in your sacred space.


What am I feeling?

From here you may want to check in with your emotions and feelings. This is where you allow and encourage yourself to feel and acknowledge current emotions, nothing at all, or past memories and emotional attachments that are bubbling up to be seen, heard and cleared.

Feel into what comes up. You may either sit in this place for a moment to acknowledge it, cry to release or, you may need to dig further to do some ‘joywork’ and bring in the practice of Forgiveness and acceptance. If so you may like to explore this technique;

*From your safe space say in your mind, out loud or write down; everything you could have / would have / should have said to the person involved (or yourself or situation).

*Pause and let that settle.

*Then bring their image back to mind and into their eyes from your heart and mind forgive their soul and yours. Saying you no longer give them any of your power, you take your power back and let go of anything that no longer serves (remember this does not mean the love stops, it is changing to what is of the highest purpose now. Neither does it ‘excuse’ what has happened to you or passed between you. It is a process of you releasing the attachment to the pain that is not serving you and holding you back).

*Dissolve the image.

*Be open best you can to receiving the gift/lesson the experience/relationship brought you.

*Sit with accepting what has happened is in the past and is done. You are able to be present fully when you allow yourself to be here in the now.

You may like to make notes, sit a moment to process and just be. Remember the feminine and femininity is largely about ‘being’, not ‘doing’. This is a process. It takes time and commitment. There is no need to set a deadline or goal date to nail this by. It will evolve as you do.

Remember in this process as in all life; demonstrate for yourself and others;

Loving Kindness





Along with;

Conscious choices and an awareness of your inner dialogue – this connects to your patterns that you are exploring. And in any situation to come from a place of Acceptance, Enthusiasm or Enjoyment / Joy. If you are not coming from either of these places reassess where the ego/fear and emotions have lead you. Then bring yourself back best you can to acceptance, knowing “this too shall pass”, as everything does.


If you are experiencing a ‘dark night of the soul’ and the pain, loss of self or trauma is too great for you to process alone, reach out to a trusted loved one. Someone who has the strength of soul to be there for you. Or reach out to a professional who can offer you guidance, council and hold the sacred space you require at your time of need. You are not alone. We all go through these times in our own way, especially along the Path. Neither is there weakness in seeking help. As you walk closer and closer to the path of heart, and your inner essence lighting the way, you will have newly found power and strength. What may have been a mountain to try and climb is now a tiny bump to step over. What would have felt heartbreaking and life shattering may become seen and felt as a golden opportunity for moving closer to your truth and who you really are here to be.


Explore moving through the Emotional phase of femininity HERE:

The 11 Keys Guide to Escape Feminine Disconnect & Reawaken Inner Empowerment

Shifting from Entitlement, to Empowerment & Your Deeper Truth

How to Take a Love Break

6 Shifts Along The Path to Self Development

BOUNDARIES: The Cornerstone of Empowerment from Within



Heart Femininity – The Jewel of the Lotus; the Feminine Centre

Feminine ‘strength’ is accessed through the heart. It is receptive, for the benefit of all. There is a persistent strength to this pure femininity. Think of water constantly flowing and moving over a rock, eroding it until it is a smooth stone. Femininity also brings the best out of others. It draws in and magnetises. It beautifies, harmonises, flows through all, heals and is ALL creative endeavours.


The destination you are ultimately seeking is to dwell and live from ‘the jewel of the lotus’, from the core of your very heart. This place is where your magnetic, loving quality resonates from. It is inherently both loving and wise (not inherently sexual – yes, it is possible to have femininity without sexuality. Sexuality is just a symbol of the feminine remember. An effect, not the essence).

The heart changes for the better – in a slower and more subtle way. Thus, this phase fully embodies more ‘being’ and less ‘doing’. It is pure, not through erratic emotions or through the form of the physical body. The heart is a pure qualitative example of what femininity is. Embodying and living in this phase you are being a loving influence more than an emotional or sexual being. You are able to be warm and persistent; like the warmth of the environment of the earth which is always there, influencing and helping shape what goes on around the entire planet. This is the power of heart’s persistent quality. From this space, you can gently radiate out without need to attach to an external symbol. This doesn’t mean you don’t ever connect to or use a symbol such as the yoni/womb, tarot cards, ritual etc. to point the way. (It’s also important to share that it doesn’t make you less of a ‘woman’ or less feminine to not have a womb, for example, or to not use popular new age ‘feminine’ symbols if you choose.)


Neither is it through crusading with fists in the air and bras burning in bins anymore. But through using wise voices of reason that today you make the change to rebirth and reconnect to your femininity. It is through offering your understanding and growth, your wisdom of experience to help people see that sometimes you can win a war without conflict, violence and fighting. We need more of this. It is not staying passive or meek, but choosing to solve the current challenges you and I face through gaining pure feminine strength. We do this through the balance of masculine and feminine or, using pure femininity to bring about change in a round about way. The choice is personal and it is yours to make, depending on which you resonate with most.


Raising up – “What do I choose to feel?”

From this awareness, you want to raise your vibration, your energy, and bring yourself into a place of unified heart and mind, closer to your soul. You may like to ask yourself, “What do I want to feel?” Then ask to be shown or to feel that. Perhaps it is love, peace of mind, calm, safe, knowing… ask for the guidance and be open to being shown HOW it feels. Bring your awareness into embodying this best you can in the moment. It will likely take time and practice. There is no rush. Some days this practice may come easier, then not so easy the next. That is fine too.

Explore this for 3-5 mins daily or when it calls.


Concentration practice

To balance and calm the mind further you may now like to move onto your concentration practice (play with the order that suits you, you may like to do this after some deep belly breathes before the “feeling” exercises above).

As an example; bring a tree to mind – you may visualise the tree being rooted into the layers of earth, grounded and connected to mother nature, flourishing blooms and vibrant green leaves, strong trunk and branches, stable in presence yet flowing, swaying or bending with the wind or breeze, growing fruit etc. What you are ‘concentrating on’ is the tree in all its many facets. If another thought comes to mind like; what should I make for dinner? Or, I have so much to get through today! Let each thought pass over like a cloud in the sky and keep bringing your attention and focus back to a facet of the tree, each time.

You are learning to concentrate. To hold your awareness. This is foundation work for meditation. It may well be a challenge so remain kind to yourself and be patient.

Explore this for 2-3 minutes to start with. Again, this may become a daily part of your practice or when it calls to you.



Explore moving through the Heart phase of femininity HERE:

Truth, Beauty & Love; For Your Awakening

7 Mystical Truths for Travelling the Sacred Path

The Journey of Feminine Reconnection



When you look at these three key phases you may begin to see you have a choice: of pure femininity or sexual and illusory feminine. While your emotions connect to both aspects. As they are fluid, and can drop down to the primal or raise to meet the heart, until they are mastered. This is your choice. If you do choose to evolve your femininity you will choose to learn to blend the three phases so you can explore, evolve and travel between them. Or, you will dedicate your journey to learning to evolve through the three phases and aspire to reside in the pure quality of the heart.



But, what about being a Warrior Woman?

Of course, you can still pick up a ‘sword’ and fight fire with fire, but it is not femininity. It’s a glamour to think you need to be warrior strong.  Femininity can change things in an indirect way, showing a subtle yet powerful strength of its own. (Remember the flow of water and the power it has to shape shift to move and erode what stands in its way?)

As an example, femininity in conflict is to be able to express, “This is how you hurt me, this is why it hurt, and I’d ask you to be compassionate enough to not do it again.” You are learning the art of tuning into people and bringing their awareness to the ‘heart issue’ and communicating your truth from the power of heart. Not dropping into animal ‘Kali’ yelling mode, nor becoming violent with actions, words or thoughts.

This is challenging. Not only to rise above the lower natures of your old patterns, but also because you and I don’t often see true examples of feminine and masculine energy to lead the way. What is shown and seen is often perverted or blended examples. Making you think to be a strong and empowered woman you need to step into your masculine. The world as it is right now isn’t offering you true masculinity nor femininity, so how can you learn if you aren’t shown or guided? That is why it is up to you to shift this perception and way of life with the knowledge and wisdom you can pull.



Ask yourself: How does femininity manifest when I embody the true nature?

What you have within you is a beautifully scared energy that needs to be welcomed into the world. It is for you to explore its energy, amplify it and bring it into the world wherever possible. There is no reason why women can’t be strong, but the current western perspective of that is not a genuine feminine way – that gentler, softer side that has not been safe to manifest carries the most potent form of female strength that many have not even experienced, let alone be able to radiate to those around them.



I Am Flower, Feel Me Radiate.

Femininity represented as a flower is a symbolism carried through the ages, from ancient Egyptology to Hinduism and Buddhism. Carrying the mystical along with its common meaning, the lotus is often a flower of femininity – traditionally pink and plump, blossoming in spring. It is the flower pushing through the muddy waters of desire to float above, radiating its purity of body, speech and mind. From devotion, beauty and fertility, to ascension, wisdom, enlightenment and rebirth. The symbolism of the lotus may vary from culture to culture but the fundamental connecter is the essence. The quality of each lotus embodies the feminine in its most precious, delicate, wise, all pervasive and captivating state.


Not all may see themselves as a lotus and that is fine. Some flowers only grow in a greenhouse. It is not a weakness to need more nurturing, warmth and love than others. The most delicate and fragile among us can draw strength out in others who are called to nurture them – meaning those called upon are able to step into a role they otherwise would not be able to fulfil. Such as a man being able to hold sacred space for a woman by making her feel safe enough to open up and radiate her unique self. For others, the world turns the flower into a cactus and makes it so tough and eternally so defensive it may never be able to awaken as the beautiful flower it really is. Or, it may take much time and love to make it feel safe enough to surrender into the embrace of love and fully realise its unique essence that never before has been seen.


Sit with this.

How do you resonate with what I’ve shared here?

Are you too scared to reveal your most precious and sacred self with a trusted and intimate loved one?

Do you still feel you must earn love by proving yourself and therefore use the external (skills, beauty, worship, fanaticism and devotion etc.) instead of your unique feminine essence?

Have you noticed you have hardened and closed off out of self-defence and fear of being hurt?

Do you long to be able to soften, open and share your most intimate, femininity and unique essence with a beloved?


You may like to Muse on these and contemplate your Truth, who you are, what you are, what you need now to feel safe enough to begin to soften that little bit more and begin to radiate in only the way you can.



The Male Role

The feminine requires masculine. A flower won’t grow without the sun. We are the dance of mother nature in all her glory basking in the vibrant, beaming, love light of father sun.

When you are able to radiate your femininity, you can also help men step into their masculine and take the role men are here to honour. After all we say “ladies and ‘gentle’ men” – men are longing to balance their gentle nature with their masculinity too. This is not something new, it is just a wisdom that has been lost and suppressed over time. But now it longs to be rebalanced and brought into harmony once again.


As a Native American Proverb says;

“A woman’s highest calling is to lead a man to his soul so as to unite him with Source. A man’s greatest calling is to protect woman so that she is free to walk the earth unharmed.” ~ Native American proverb.

This wisdom reminds you of the purpose of men and in return that through heart – the gateway to the soul – so too the purpose of women. There is a harmonious dance. Each needing the other in different ways to fulfil their calling.


It is partly the responsibility of men to nurture this subtle femininity in women, as much as it is for women to come together for themselves and each other. As you may notice around us there is still internal warfare between women too. Other women are still selling out fellow women. Just look at the click bait titles on magazine covers written by women to manipulate fellow women to buy, fit the mould, be more like ‘this’. Look at how women talk of each other, judge, criticise, condemn and compare. At the same time men are still so out of touch with being a Divine masculine and ‘gentle’ man they are missing opportunities to see, feel, touch, taste and experience the most beautiful thing they could in the form of woman and the essence of the feminine. For when a woman feels safe, held, seen, heard and cherished enough to soften and, drop her internal shield and sword that barricades her heart, she can begin to further open, to radiate her unique femininity for him, for herself and for those she chooses to invite in.

There will always be strong women, those in harmony with their feminine and masculine and those who are extremely soft and gentle – and they shouldn’t have to carry a sword and shield to be their authentic self and live their truth. Each woman is different, unique, beautiful in such a profound way…


The Feminine Stripped Bare

What I am encouraging you to Muse on is awakening Divine Femininity within you, which is already there and waiting. Not the glamourous, sexy, new age illusion that is being sold or shown to you. For aren’t you instead seeking an intimate connection? A knowing and an embodying of your authentic, pure, quality that already IS inside you?

You don’t need the external gratifications to grasp for your femininity, while trying to emulate the goddess / yoni / Shakti / symbols you are seeing around you. You are not separate from your femininity as you cannot separate from that which is part of you. Just like you cannot rid yourself of ego. It isn’t the ‘ego’ you want to rid, it is its control. Like the control your desire and sex impulse has over you, or the instant gratification void fillers you constantly search for to make you feel more ‘feminine, ‘powerful’ or connected to your femininity. When the control is given up and the power handed over to heart, in alignment with mind/consciousness, the path way to connecting to your Soul from your place of authentic feminine essence is cleared.


Do we in the west even have appreciation for the feminine?

You have permission to be feminine, even if the world hasn’t given it to you, you already have it. You have a choice as to how much you want to balance your feminine and masculine, or be fully in your feminine if that is your truth.

Innocent, soft women and girls should feel safe to be themselves and not told to be strong if that is not innately their nature. Their gift is instead to bring out the qualities of others who will be called upon for support and protection – in particular here I am talking about men stepping into this role as I mentioned earlier.

If you authentically want to be strong, be strong. If you don’t, don’t. Other people can do that for you so they can learn the way of the heart through compassion, loving kindness and patience as you radiate your femininity out to them. While the world sees it as weak, it is a gift to help change the world.


True femininity would change the world

We have been the pendulum, swinging from one extreme to the other. The call now louder than ever is for balance in the centre of harmony. Femininity is the key for balance. From offsetting the ego’s in politics, to helping to mitigate the driving masculine force, all through feminine energy. Part of what stops this harmony is fellow women trying to be men and overly embodying masculine energy.

Love and understanding is the way for harmony and growth. Not the patriarchal, domineering way or, feeling pushed to have to be masculine to survive when your authenticity is to embody your femininity. Neither to have to ‘dress up’, worship and externalise your feminine nature to grasp at the essence of femininity itself when it is already innate within you.


Something to Muse on….


May you listen to your highest calling and honour your truth by starting the journey to the jewel of the feminine centre of your heart or, by blending the key three phases, to Awaken your unique femininity today. You only need commit to one change, one step, one conscious choice to begin.


With Love, Elise / S*M

1 Comment

  1. JC on October 5, 2019 at 12:06 pm

    There is a great deal of wisdom in your website which will help women to flourish and be true to their divine nature and potential. Indeed the power of women who are true to that innate feminity holds the power to change the world for better.

    There are many stereotypes in the world today and it is good to see you breaking these down so that women can cast aside the deceptive world in which they now reside and find that true authentic connection to their soul and loved ones.

    I have a small point of order and I hope that you will understand the tone is not critical. I hope that you will continue to influence many to search for an experience a higher state of loving and caring – well done for having the courage, wisdom and strength to find your true voice and sharing this knowledge with a wider audience . I am in no
    way taking away from your excellent article and podcast (entitled “3 Phases to Evolving the Feminine: Primal, Emotional & Heart”).

    I point out though that you have compounded one of the modern stereotypes of a hijacked term when you used the phrase “Not the patriarchal, domineering way or, feeling pushed …” The use of the word patriarchal in this way is akin to those who use the term always in a negative domineering sense. Originally the term Patriarch simply meant Father as a modern society we hijacked the word to be used negatively. A Patriarch cannot exist without a Matriarch – the word was used to remind men of the highest and noblest of family titles Father/Patriarch – only made possible through the love and devotion of an equally noble Mother/Matriarch. While the modern vernacular of the day uses the term negatively bashing the higher calling of the masculine sex to stand as Father figures, to protect, provide and love in a deeply authentic and pure way. Unfortunately, this does not teach young men to respect womanhood, what is so often missing in the world today are true examples of pure and virtuous manhood. Only within this kind of society can women embrace their highest noblest selves to be a truly feminine woman.

    What Father would watch porn or abuse spouse or offspring only one who was not worthy of the most intimate of titles Father, Dad, Daddy or Patriarch. Only by firmly establishing in the minds of young men, to take the responsibility of procreation, as a sacred and most intimate expression of devotion that a woman can ever share, only then will they begin to realise the sacredness of the term Father or the true nature of being a Patriarch.

    From the handbook of the True Patriarchs some telling advice:

    “It is true we have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion. Hence many are called, but few are chosen. No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of manhood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile.”

    We live in a world where true manhood and womanhood are under attack from the saboteurs of the soul. We need not suppose that ancient texts in some case have been changed to give the impression that a woman’s role was in some way inferior to men. Truth comes into the world but corrupt men change the truth to try to usurp power or influence over those they were called to protect and cherish.

    There are now only a few Patriarchs left – men have been deceived into false ideologies of what it means to be a man. When this happens women suffer and sometimes out of necessity they become -as prickly as cacti (as you suggested) for they have been forced to live and wander in the desert so long.

    May you continue to find and seek truth and may your walk in life be full of joy and happiness.

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